Wednesday, July 20, 2016

The Charming Prince of Malacañang (and a sub-entry on political fan-girling)

I've always said that politics is the showbiz of the ugly, by the ugly, and for the ugly; for I see more ugly faces that charming and beautiful ones.

There are only perhaps a dozen of people I could think of in 30 seconds who are truly handsome or beautiful. And they are doomed to fade away, or they really never increase in number.

The usual focus of the public is on the candidates, on the politician himself, and on his opinions. The usual shit in politics.

But the 2016 Presidential Race was spiced up when media covered the most useless and frivolous issue of the election season- the candidates' sons and presumptive heirs. And by the looks of it, their offspring possess the glamorous and panty-dropping, enchanting, nakakaloka looks (finally, thank God!).

In the era of beauty-deprived politics and mental mediocrity, the media has discovered something that will give us hope, or better, a break from the random male-celebrity bullshits we watch in porn, in television, and from looking at all those familiar faces and crotches in EDSA billboards that have bogged down our taste and appetite for substantial male beauty.

Thank you media. You really know what the people fucking need. So they featured this roster of young men that I like to call the new Princes of Philippine Politics.

My personal pick is Brian Poe- the "pang commercial" smile, flawless skin, pretty face, and an impressive family background.

But this was way before the general elections. And out of nowhere came out this photo.


And I was like:
The Stages of Evolution from Political Observer to Slutty Fan-Girl

Stage 1- Reads the name Sebastian Duterte. Hmmm… *click*

Stage 2- After two photos. Furious clicking and typing of key words in various search engines.

Stage 3- Giggling like a schoolgirl at the sight of another photo

Stage 4- Hormone overdrive. Lost all reasoning capacity. Libido takes hold of every piece of one's humanity.

Stage 5- Gets back to reading and searching for Sebastian Duterte while raving on the phone about the guy with gurl bestfriend.

Stage 6- Speaks of Sebastian Duterte with friends, calling him by his first name like they are in a real relationship.

Stage 7- Shrieks and giggles and speaks in wild tongues whenever Baste's photo appears before him. Undergoes therapy.

And that's how I became Baste's secret paramour. LOL!

 To end this worthless entry, here's a photo of my new beau.

Don't you just want to become a soap and lather that body all over? LOL!

Thursday, July 07, 2016

That Southron Lord of Davao

I think people should stop making memes of President Duterte and family as the Philippine version of House Stark of Game of Thrones. It feels like it’s bad luck. Not that I am superstitious, but there’s a probability that whatever happened to the Starks could also happen to the Dutertes.

I am a firm believer in the fact that the political principles of the dynamics in the world of Game of Thrones are not different, or should I say, the same in the Philippine political landscape- minus the dragons, the Night King and the Others.

But Duterte is truly like Ned Stark when he was Hand of the King under King Robert Baratheon. Just like Ned, the new president has a very promising start. He is chivalrous and determined to bring down and destroy all the evil forces in the capital and in other realms.

It’s quite worrying because this southron lord who has come to claim the throne in Malacañang could be devoured by the system. Only a fool could claim to be not tainted by corruption or say that he could withstand the establishment’s dark vortex. And any man who vows to change the country with words such as “change” and “better future” is doomed to become a new disappointing system that replaces another.

You see corruption and injustice are so deeply rooted in our politics and social culture that even Lucifer himself doesn’t bother anymore to frustrate whatever divine agenda the Almighty has for our country. And add to that the bishops who are so vociferous of their opinions and EXPERTISE on matters such as sex, family, and politics.

But he did have achieved and spearheaded a lot of things in a week that other buffoon-presidents tried hard to do in six years. And change is never a pleasant thing, especially when there’s a twisted quarter-of-a-century-old political culture that has been rampant in our communities. Many people, high born and low would be too reluctant, pessimistic, or would even oppose any change at all, even if it’s for the good of the nation. We can’t even follow basic rules in traffic, and we hit our MMDA officers when they reprimand us, even if we are in the wrong! And how far will the fierce mob of Dutertards back up the president when things could go wrong? History tells us that Filipinos, even those known to be nationalists, have been the greatest turn-cloaks of all time.

I refuse to be the new Negastar in this new age of Philippine politics. But with so much promises and many things to fix in our republic, and my being fully immersed in the next few weeks in my reading of “A Song of Ice and Fire” novels, one can’t help but think of Ned Stark’s pretty head rolling down the steps of Baelor’s Sept.

Monday, June 27, 2016

The Manifesto of the Mob Republic

After the Philippine General Elections of 2016, after bringing out our worst immature highschool-like behaviour, democracy has prevailed. God has spoken through the voice of the people. We are all Dutertards after all.

 We are Dutertards.

  1. We pledge allegiance to The Strong Man who doesn’t give a fuck to anyone else.
  2. We venerate The Strong Man because he is the Father and Saviour.
  3. We curse because it’s a virtue. We keep things real.
  4. We follow his words, because we can’t have our own initiative to do good by ourselves.
  5. We believe in the justice of the vigilante.
  6. Fuck others’ opinions. We will gang up on you.
  7. The Strong Man’s humor is not offensive. Rape is probably funny.
  8. The Strong Man is infallible. It is our task to clarify all misunderstanding and eliminate (neutralize) falsehoods.
  9. Fuck the media. The media is the devil
  10. Fuck religion. There is no other god other than The Strong Man.
  11. Fuck decorum and ethics.
  12. Women of Davao are not hipon. They are free to sit on The Strong Man’s lap.
  13. Fuck human rights.
  14. It is only right if The Strong Man says it’s right.
  15. Anybody who is against The Strong Man is a criminal. Not a probable criminal. A criminal who awaits a bullet in his head.
  16. Fuck democracy and rule of law. Mobocracy rules.
  17. Kill the corrupt.
  18. Kill the presumed criminal.
  19. Kill the criminals.
  20.  Cleanliness is next to Dutertardliness.

The writer of this entry is currently seeking political asylum in various European countries. In the meantime, the Philippine government is arranging for the return of Jose Maria Sison and the execution of T.G. 

Tuesday, June 07, 2016

After Six Months....

Six months ago I have listed down 10 goals that I will pursue and try to achieve this year. And so far, I am not really doing great.

  1. Healthy habits- I wanted to be fit and healthy. Few months ago I started to workout again like I used to FOUR YEARS AGO, and that entails also a rigorous diet. And I am failing miserably. I thought that by summer time I won’t be embarrassed to showcase my flesh on the beach. Well, it’s summer now, a very rainy summer. But when the sun is up and I’m on the beach, I’m gonna look like another butanding washed away on the shore. I don’t even want to justify why I stopped exercises and good eating habits because IT’S FUCKING FRUSTRATING WHEN I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY.
  2. Travel- on this point I am managing this one quite well. I am really excited for the summer because not only I am going to shame myself on the beach, but this is the perfect season to travel in the countryside of Tuscany. And the country is so beautiful in the summer. At the same time, all preparations are done for my birthday trip to Gaeta, a small town near Rome, and Paris. I’m really looking forward to those relaxing and fun vacations.
  3. Literary competition- I wanted to push myself to write more often than I used to, and send an entry to the Carlos Palanca literary contest. Ambisyosa! I know. But the goal is not to win but to push myself harder in writing. So far, I haven’t joined any contest, not even sent anything to any call to submissions for publication.
  4. Novel- well, it’s there, in the making. That is if you can call five paragraphs a novel-in-the-making. I am going to lay-off some other commitments so I can really have enough time for this. Busy-busyhan lagi kasi. I am not really busy. It’s simply a question of priorities and time management. And yes, too much time for porn. Hahaha!
  5. Reading Challenge- This is the only goal that I am not having any problems except that according to my tracker in (the perfect website for bookworms and nerds like me) I am two books behind schedule. But that’s ok because I am reading thick volumes. I am still confident that I will reach my goal of reading 25 books, and perhaps more.
  6. Gifts for cousins and godchildren- I promised to give birthday gifts for my 30 godchildren and my other cousins, all 13 of them. But they’re too many. So I guess they’ll just receive gifts on Christmas. Promise!
  7. Write more blog entries- If I can’t even dedicate a time for a short story, how much more for this blog. And lately, my circle of bloggers is quiet, except for a few handful of dedicated bloggers.
  8.  A New Blog- I was preparing a new blog with a totally new concept different from this one. But I am not keen on keeping two blogs. And I do not wish to close this one down. My target month to publish the new blog is on July. I won’t be anonymous in the other blog. But we’ll see. I might abort it.
  9. Learn a new skill- I was thinking of taking classes in kenjutsu, or something that would teach me how to use a sword so I can decapitate assholes with a real samurai sword. Kill Bill style. Instead, I started a new thing. Networking business- a new skill that could give me what I really want and love so much- MONEY.
  10. The Pursuit of a Rich Lover- my chances of becoming a querido to some rich bloke are still zero. What if I try to the rich one and purchase my own man-servant/man-whore? Hmmm…

How about your goals?  

Monday, June 06, 2016

Ang Pangarap na Bituin

My last tweet (yes I tweet pa rin… pseudo-celebrity eh. LOL!) made me realize something about my own luck. Laging kapos ang swerte ko, compared sa swerte ng mga kaibigan ko.

from, ganito lang ang peg ko.... from the movie "Bukas Luluhod ang mga Tala"

Ilang oras mula ngayon, magkikita kami ng bestfriend kong taga Roma- the one na may mga barkadang artista at sikat. I sometimes can’t believe his luck. Not that I am envious. I really am not into pinoy celebrities and TV personalities. Porn stars kasi ang hinahabol ko. LOL! Pero hindi biro, talagang good friends siya with several ultra famous celebrities. God knows how much I want to mention names pero hindi pwede. Hindi ako naka hingi ng permission sa BFF ko. Hehehe!

Napaisip lang din ako- sinong artista na ba ang na meet ko in person. WALA. Dahil nga siguro hindi ako interesado. Pero kung hindi yung celebrity ang ma meet ko, makikilala ko yung pinakamalapit sa kanila.

Here’s what I mean...

My BFF meets Mr. Chonggo Uber Cute Multi-Awarded Superstar Male Celebrity.
I don’t meet the celebrity but I meet his parents.

My VBF meets Ms. 90’s Celebrity From A Patrician Super Rich and Powerful Family.
I don’t meet the celebrity, nor her mother (I am a fan of the mother), but I get to meet The Heiress and become a friend of hers (well, that’s what I would like to think, hahaha!).

I never had the chance to meet a Philippine President and I would really love to, but I had the chance of meeting a Vice President of our Republic.

In the 90’s, when my sister and I were kids, she bumped into Richard Gomez. On the other hand, the nearest I got to Richard Gomez was when I stepped on his bodyguard’s foot and caught a glimpse of him from afar, seeing my sister being held by Richard.

Laging one degree lower di ba?

Pero I wouldn’t say that I am unlucky.

But I do feel very blessed to have the chance to meet my idol in person.

Quite a charmer and lovely personality!

Ito naman ang ibang mga “Pangarap na Bituin” na gusto ko ma meet-

  1. talagang pangarap ko na ma-meet in person na artista ay si NICOLE KIDMAN. Grabe! Siya lang yata ang babae na kinababaliwan ko! Hahaha!
  2. Queen Elizabeth and other royals- because I am a prince myself. Hehehe!
  3. Jessica Zafra- because lords and princelings must pay homage to Her Universal Potentate 
  4. Francisco Sionil Jose- One of the most illustrious writers of our country. Kelangan ko talaga pilitin na makita siya bago siya kunin ni Lord! He’s perhaps 90 years old!
  5. Last but not the least ang aking Prince Charming. Hehehe!

Bukas sana sa aking paggising, kapiling ko na ang pangarap kong bituin!