Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The "No More" List- Resolution for 2011

I’d like to start the blog with a list of things that I wanna change in my life and personality.


1.      No More Insults- Yep. Last year I had a lot of trouble because of my big mouth. This year, I’ll be gentle in speech and thought and behaviour. I will never again call insignificant superficial airheads as insignificant superficial airheads. Ever.

2.      No More Alfred Vargas- I will not use lewd and controversial photos of opportunist councillors and actor-politicians just to boost the readership of my blog. They attract perverts- both gays and females- that will bring a very bad reputation to me and my work. Stay away from me you maniacs! Alam kong ako lang din ang habol niyo!

3.      No More Lifestyle of a Slob­- I’m aiming to lose 20 kg this year. I believe that overweight slobs like me have high hopes. If you’re an overweight to, join me in taking up this challenge to starve to death the slob in me and bring out the sexy gorgeous me!
4.      No More Procrastination- I’m keeping an agenda to outline the things that I’m supposed to do today. It feels like your life is totally based on such a silly notebook but I realized that I’ve lost so much time and opportunity because of procrastination. Here’s an important lesson: Money is not as important as Time, because Money lost can be earned again, but when Time is lost, it’s gone forever. Time is gold. The more you dedicate important things in your time, the more money you can produce. Yeah! It’s all about that sweet thing called money! Hahahaha!

 
5.      No More Facebook- I’m not condemning myself to eternal technological isolation. I still have a twitter account, eh! It’s just that Facebook is so good that it keeps me away from doing important matters. I usually end up commenting on my friends’ photos, status, comments, posts, notes, etc. Eventually I’ll end up playing Mafia Wars, Millionaire City and many other games. Sa huli, halip na ako ang nakikinabang sa Facebook, ang Facebook na ang nakinabang sa akin. My challenge to myself is this: get through the first six months of 2011 without Facebook. Let’s see what will happen.

6.      No More Spending Too Much Money for my Caffeine Fix- I’ve been spending a considerable amount of money for my coffee breaks. One time I did some counting on how much I spent the past month on coffee. And the result was shocking: 100 euros. So every month I’ll be putting aside my caffeine money in my piggy bank.

  1. No More Excessive Ingestion of Caffeine- I’m very addicted to coffee and I love it! I even drink a warm cup of espresso in summer! I usually go to coffee shops and bars when I’m not working. Without caffeine I’ll be sometimes neurotic, sleepless, and paranoid. I need it to calm my nerves. Just to show you how much I love coffee, the following is my coffee break schedule-
·        Before going to work
·        5 minutes before I start to work
·        During work
·        One espresso before lunch break
·        After lunch break
·        During work in the afternoon.
·        Before going out of work.
·        Coffee with friends/colleagues
·        After dinner
·        Before going to sleep/While working on this blog


But I’ll be cutting it down to three or four times a day. I know it’s still too much but you don’t want me moaning and screaming while convulsing with saliva and bloodshot eyes every night because of low levels of caffeine in my system, do you?
8.      No More Over-reacting on How Stupid People Can Be- That’s because I realized that I can be just as stupid as they are. Of course, I’ll be a tad bit higher intellectually compared to them in the competition of stupidity.

9.      No More Hating the World in General- It’s about time that I should start having a positive outlook and give this world hope even if it’s filled with corrupt idiots in power, airheads, and wannabe-Britney-or-Miley-Cyrus-or-any-other-glitter-loving-commercialized-second-rate-pop-star-who-mutated-from-squeaky-clean-girl-to-a-dirty-trash-street-woman sixteen year-old girls who have the Space-Between-Your-Ears Syndrome. Yes, I need to love the world, because it’s really in a very desperate situation.




10.  and finally No More Truce with Jejemons- I think there’s no need to explain this. We are the underdog. They have infiltrated the minds of human beings. We need to purge them from this planet.


2 comments:

  1. number 3 and 5 are the difficult ones...
    Nice first post, i LOL alot here :D

    keep posting!!!

    www.themadtoter.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. wallei wallei!!!! hahahaha!!!
    happy now?? i've read them all infront of your stupid slobby face!!!! :P

    -dee

    ReplyDelete

Sige, sakayan niyo ang trip ko....