Tired of doing the old tricks of luring girls into your lair? Fed up with the myths of wooing beautiful maidens that never really work?
Here’s a chance for you to change your life. The secrets of heart-throb-zombie-lover-boy Robert Pattinson a.k.a. Edward Cullen is finally revealed and is shared by none other than his certified Twilight-fan and sentinel, my own cousin, Cookie.
Here are the tips she shared-
Original version (Italian)-
- Ricoprire interamente il corpo di anti-rughe. Ha più di 80 anni e un viso tiratissimo.
- Mangiare solo cibo liquido.
- Usare cipria, fondotinta, rossetto, e soprattutto… glitters!
- Per ultimo ma non meno importante- uscire con ragazze giovanissime, almeno 70 anni più giovane!
- Cover the whole body with anti-aging cream. He is more than 80 years old and a really super stiff (stretched?) skin.
- Eat (Drink?) only liquefied food. (Preferably human blood)
- Use face powder, foundation, lipstick, and most importantly GLITTERS!!!!
- Last but not the least, date super young girls, at least 70 years younger.