Tuesday, November 08, 2011

How to Attract Girls: Secrets of Edward Cullen Revealed

Tired of doing the old tricks of luring girls into your lair? Fed up with the myths of wooing beautiful maidens that never really work?

Here’s a chance for you to change your life. The secrets of heart-throb-zombie-lover-boy Robert Pattinson a.k.a. Edward Cullen is finally revealed and is shared by none other than his certified Twilight-fan and sentinel, my own cousin, Cookie.

Here are the tips she shared-

Original version (Italian)-

  1. Ricoprire interamente il corpo di anti-rughe. Ha più di 80 anni e un viso tiratissimo.
  2. Mangiare solo cibo liquido.
  3. Usare cipria, fondotinta, rossetto, e soprattutto… glitters!
  4. Per ultimo ma non meno importante- uscire con ragazze giovanissime, almeno 70 anni più giovane!


  1. Cover the whole body with anti-aging cream. He is more than 80 years old and a really super stiff (stretched?) skin.
  2. Eat (Drink?) only liquefied food. (Preferably human blood)
  3. Use face powder, foundation, lipstick, and most importantly GLITTERS!!!!
  4. Last but not the least, date super young girls, at least 70 years younger.

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Sige, sakayan niyo ang trip ko....