Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I'm Virgin and I'm Active


This is so far one of the best achievements I’ve made this year- SIGNING UP TO A GYM. Weeh!
According to my Life Resolution 2012 section 2- “I will formulate a very convincing reason to push myself to go to the gym, get 6-freak-pack abs, and be a man-whore employee of Abercrombie and Fitch in Milan.


Before I go on, I’m not going to discuss anything about sex or my sexual preferences or anything. And if you guessed it right, I just became an official member of the Virgin Active gym here in Florence.
If you knew me, you would never believe it when I say that I’m going to gym because I’m that type of person who willingly submits to the cravings of his stomach and is easily enslaved by his own microscopic taste buds.
But here I am biding my time before I officially start working out and do lots and lots and lots of exercises.
What/who pushed me into this madness?
Two of the high-ranking superiors at work. Let’s call them Madam and Manang. They’re not that bad. They can be a real nightmare at work but once you know them, you’d realise that they’re humans too.
They asked me to accompany them to the gym to ask for information and such and such. I conceded. After meeting the club manager and after some squabbling with these two women, we were handed three one-year contracts, instead of two.
So, with much bitterness and reluctance, I signed the paper and committed myself to a one year of agony.
The bickering, the haggling and all the brouhaha of that conversation were simply the tip of the iceberg. Underneath, I have been pondering certain thoughts about this episode in my life.
  1. Struggle for power and survival- just think, you, that nameless dog at work, working out with two powerful women, offering yourself as their loyal chauffeur after gym. There’s this chance that you get better treatment at work AND get my contract renewed this year. Who wouldn’t grab the opportunity to win the favour of those who might hold you as you walk on that thin thread of hope? Hehehe…
  2. The desire to get out of my current job- I work at a fast-food restaurant, where you are required to work as quickly and precisely as you can (though I’m one of the slowest sloth-employees because I really don’t give a damn), while the multi-national company drains out all the energy from you, sucking every bit of your soul until you suddenly realize that your life is already running at the slowest pace with hindered progress in all of its aspects because your life simply revolves around it. I want to change scenery. And once I have those abs, and monstrous biceps, I can transfer to Milan and work as one of those men-whores in Abercrombie store (hehehe, just being envious and bitter…). 
  3. Boost up my self-esteem- My friends never believe me when I say that I’m very insecure of myself and that I need to boost up my self-esteem. Although I can be an arrogant prick sometimes, I need to love myself. And just to clarify that, I mean loving oneself in the philosophical sense,
  4. The genuine desire to be healthy- and probably this is the only thought I pondered which really made sense. I come from a family of people who are twins with heart-related problems, diabetes, high-blood pressure, voracious stomach, super enhanced taste buds, and abnormally refined appetite just for anything that is considered food. Few of my ancestors and contemporaries have died of natural causes. My great-grandmother is still alive and she’s a living example of what my future would be if I don’t take a decisive step to salvage my future. Working out is not really for aesthetic purposes. I just want to live longer.
  5. And finally, get laid and imprint a lasting impression to girls (and boys) of their intimate encounter with a sexy god. Hahahaha! Egotistical me! Just kidding. I’m not lascivious or anything. Just like everyone else, I want to look good… and be able to fit my ass in those skinny jeans they make here in Europe!

To be honest, I’m quite excited. After seeing the equipment and the courses they are offering, I have to say that my reluctance is partly diminished.
It’s actually too early to say if I’m gonna like this. Sigh, all this desire to achieve good health and beauty. I remember a line in the movie “Memoirs of a Geisha”- “Agony and beauty for us live side by side.” You cannot achieve beauty if you don’t suffer for it (a message to the ugly ducklings and naturally born ogres like me). No guts no glory. No ID, no entry. Weh!

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6 comments:

  1. Well, to be a gym member is also in my to-do list this 2012, I'm still working on that now. I badly need to be in a gym. If I'll exercise alone, I'm not sure if I have that certain amount of discipline needed to make myself fit. But if I'll be in a gym, at least someone can supervise me on what I'm doing and if I'm really doing it right and well.

    So congrats! Finally, you are now one of those fitness buffs now. Hehehe.. It's just 1 year. Time goes by fast, and after 365 days, you'll have a new and better you.

    Sana ako rin!

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  2. Hehehe you like that boys will be impressed with you too.. so there might be a chance that you may try to taste them too?

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  3. Frankly speaking, your body isn't that hot. Dont flatter yourself.

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    Replies
    1. Inggit much? hahaha! I never said that I have a hot body. And really, I wish I could flatter myself, but I simply can't. I am the incarnate buddha. I'm not a sex god.

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  4. Just dropped by your blog.

    2014 is here. How is your gym routine so far?

    Have goals been met?

    ReplyDelete

Sige, sakayan niyo ang trip ko....