Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Blessed Virgin Charlie

(Please play the video to have a background music while reading. It will add so much effect to my delusional state of mind)


The signs were obvious. They kept on appearing in the past. The Abercrombie Sign. A friend from the US gave me a shirt. So as my dear friend The ESP Girl. Everything happens for a purpose. So I said to myself, “I’m going to the gym!”. For a moment I felt empowered. I felt that everything is possible. To lose 20 kg was the goal and with the signs all around me, it seems that God is positioning the whole cosmos in place to give way for my transformation.

On the third day, I was the same old slob. Munch. Munch. Munch.

A year passed by with the same old unhealthy routines. My doctor keeps on preaching about the judgement on people like me. To her, I was abusing my body abominably by excessively loving myself and indulging myself with greasy fattening mouth-watering fodder for slobs. In fact, my blood chemistry shows that I was hitting all-time high levels of triglyceride, sugar, cholesterol, uric acid, and many other mysterious scientific words that I never bothered to remember.

I thought, “Since when depriving yourself means loving yourself?”. But a part of me says that I need to get fit and healthy. I looked up to heaven and asked God for help.

It was one of those typical days when I’m under pressure, stressed, and I was compulsively shoving down my throat chips and sweets, washing them down with all kinds of soda. I’m always like this. Correction: I’ve always been like this. Until one day, two superior beings approached me. And when I say superior, I was referring to my ever dearest bosses. The supervisor, who is more like a vicereine in authority, and the assistant director of our restaurant, who is like the archduchess in this burger kingdom, “asked” me to accompany them to a certain gym.

I looked up to heaven and said to God, “I said I need help. I was expecting angels coming to my aid! Why them? Why?!”. Without much hesitation, I went with them.

As I was driving down the road, I saw the ultimate sign that will change my lifestyle. And I breathed out the word, “Yes.”

It’s more than an affirmation. It’s more than an expression of having accomplished something. It is my answer to heaven’s calling, to take care of this temple.

Looking up, it is as if I was a visionary looking at a divine apparition.

Yes. I will be virgin- pure and immaculate, deprived of any remnant of a scallywag lifestyle and nature. I will be healthy, pure, and glorious. And in the future people will look upon me, and see through my eyes the agony I have trampled upon and the beauty it has brought out of me. I’ll stand tall, like a Grecian god.  And then they’ll love me, worship me, and salivate as they see me. Bwahaha!



Ehem… Sorry. Every now and then I fall in a temporary delusional state. Anyway…

All the pain that I will endure and the glory of it that I will achieve. Like the Virgin Mary (who’s no virgin at all).

I will be the Blessed Virgin Charlie.

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