Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Bunga-bunga: Catherine’s Style vs. Berlusconi’s Style (And yes, this is a book review)

Virginia Rounding’s book “Catherine the Great: Love, Sex, and Power” gives us a paparazzi-like insider-look in the life of one of the greatest women in history- Catherine the Great, Empress of all Russias.

I say paparazzi-like because of the rich details, insights, and information that the author wrote in her book. Rounding really did an impressive and intensive research and the result is simply an amazing biography. She's like a paparazzi who obsessively captured every interesting detail about Catherine II.

All those times I was reading the book, I can’t help myself from doing comparisons between Catherine and our disgraced premier Silvio Berlusconi.

Before the Empress became Catherine, she was Princess Sophia from a small principality. She is smart, adequately beautiful and she had a clear understanding of her destiny as the wife of the future Emperor of Russia, Grand Duke Peter III, when she was called to pay a visit to the Imperial Russian court of Empress Elizabeth. Russia’s future was then set to greatness.

On the other hand, Silvio Berlusconi had a clear sense of political ambition and devilish perverted vision of his future the moment he lied for the first time in his life. The decay of Italy started.

Catherine, after getting rid of her retarded and useless (politically, emotionally, and sexually speaking) husband, assumed the imperial throne. She is a very energetic and determined woman. Her heart was set to do the common good for her people. She is very intelligent and a fast learner. I think she was born a genuine political animal. When she came to her position as the new ruler of Russia the senators and nobles around her were plain stupid, illiterate, and inept to govern a vast empire. She taught imperial leaders how to manage the empire and taught legislators how to make laws to develop the people and their great nation.

Berlusconi, after getting rid of left-wing leader Romano Prodi and vilifying a very promising leader Walter Veltroni, assumed the post of prime minister (for the nth time). He has no real knowledge of the Italian Constitution or laws but he’s very shrewd and devious. His heart was set to do good things for his companies (and the mafia). He is born not only as a genuine politician but also a real animal. When he came to his position, there were intelligent legislators and the members of the Executive Council are very capable leaders. He taught them all kinds of perversion- sexual perversion, the perversion of justice and the perversion of laws. Now, they’ve become stupid. They are forced not to use good will and their good brains. The nation is in constant degradation and shame.

And here’s the real reason why I’m comparing the Empress to that Little Megalomaniac Pervert- the accounts of their sexual lives and sexual appetites. Which bunga-bunga is better? Russian bunga-bunga or Italian bunga-bunga?

(For those who don’t know what I mean, “bunga-bunga” is a modern popular term here in Italy which means “orgy/sex party with a powerful politician”. The term is particularly related Silvio Berlusconi due to the notorious parties he hold in his villa in Arcore.)

Here’s the most interesting of all facts that I’ve read in Virginia Rounding’s book- Catherine, the great leader, the great empress, the smart political animal, is also a very passionate lover. A horny woman in a less promiscuous and good way. She doesn’t delve into orgies. But she does have a conga-line of lovers- Stanislaw August Poinatowski, the valorous general Grigory Orlov, the political technocrat Gregory Potemkin (the most influential and helpful lover of Catherine), Ivan Rimsky-Korsakov, Alexander Dmietriev-Mamonov, Alexander Lanskoy, Ivan Shuvalov, and Platon Zubov.

Many of Catherine II’s lovers were smart and intelligent. Almost everyone were promoted to important positions in the Empire. In return, they have proved to be men of great strength and political prowess and were advantageous for Catherines reign. Others refused to receive wealth and greater power but served the Empress faithfully. Some were opportunist but were somehow helpful to keep Catherine from going insane with all the difficult work of running an empire. 

Even though her collection of lovers gave her a questionable reputation, her Russian version of bunga-bunga never hindered her from bringing her Empire to such great heights of fame and glory in Europe. One can easily understand such behaviour. She’s human and she’s a woman!

But the same won’t be said to our Little Megalomaniac Pervert Silvio Berlusconi. He is a womanizer, a horny little being, in a very badass and promiscuous way. He delves into a lot of orgies in his villa organized by fellow public servants and influential men in the media. His minions invite the most beautiful and the horniest dim-witted blondes and brunettes of the land and nearby countries. Among these bitches is the infamous Ruby, the Heartbreaker.

As the people toil tremendously and honestly to earn money for a living, Berlusconi’s bitches amass wealth, and get promotions. Some were able to gain positions in government and Parliament even though they have more mass in their boobs than inside their skulls.

Berlusconi’s lovers are just good as bitches in bed- nothing more, nothing less. They are so good in bed that they actually drain the little man’s energies. He was actually caught sleeping during sessions in Parliament. 

OK! Enough of this comparison! I’m just too overwhelmed, that’s all. Really sorry.

Anyway, Rounding’s book is really a very interesting book especially if you like divas like Catherine II, and a history lover. As I said, it is evident that Rounding did some Herculean effort in writing her book because of the intimate information she got from journals and letters of Catherine and friends. Most of all, it’s worth reading because Catherine II’s life is very inspiring, a true role model of a modern woman, a leader with a heart, a passionate lover, a woman who is in charge and on the go. And as for the writer, Virginia Rounding is simply brilliant and meticulous. 

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