Meron akong syota sa trabaho. Pero hanggang trabaho lang yun. Trip lang kasi ni Miss Marijuana na maging kami. Pumayag naman ako. So, we are a pair. Feeling bf lang ako ng isang girl na cute at sexy. Masarap din naman kasi ang may maipagyabang na trophy (hehehe, sounds so badass of a dickhead). But really, we’re just colleagues. We’re not even friends. Acquaintance perhaps. And what we have is not something I would call a relationship. It’s not even a fling. It’s a big joke.
Miss Marijuana is a party animal and a frivolous chic. Hindi talaga kami bagay. She would rather spend the evening bar hopping or dance to a tecno-music while my typical nocturnal entertainment would be the cinema, the opera, reading a book, or go to a rock concert. We’re totally opposite. Geek and Glamour Girl, parang tubig at langis.
It’s such a big joke that it really annoys me sometimes to be linked with her. It’s mockery in its vilest form. It’s unthinkable that some stylish chic like Miss Marijuana would be in a relationship with Mr. Less than Average and Anomalous Guy. I kinda look pathetic. And besides, she may be cute and sexy, but she’s not really my type. Bata pa kasi niya. Para lang bunsong kapatid ko (dumber and darker version of my real sister).
So that’s it, isa akong Feelingerong Flingero. Soy un perdedor, I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me.
Nung nabalitaan ng ibang kapamilya ko ang tungkol sa pseudo-fling namin, my goodness, everybody was raving about a photo of me and Miss Marijuana. One actually said na hindi siya makapaniwala na may girlfriend ako. Wala naman talaga eh.
I was annoyed at their reaction. Sigh, pamilya ko talaga, they love me so much that they would cover their low expectations of me with absurd raving. Ikaw na ang magkapamilya ng ganyan!
But then, I really don’t blame them. I know they’re just being supportive and they want the best things in life for me, and it’s cruel and demeaning. Sounds crazy right? That’s how unique my family is. At lahat naman siguro ng mga pamilya may kanya kanyang kabaliwan, at may kanya-kanyang antas ng kahibangan ang bawat isa. Minalas lang talaga ako sa divinely appointed population distribution. But what the heck, sh*t happens and sh*t always has a part in God’s grand plan!
I really don’t mind being single. At the moment I’m really okay at being one. Kung magkaka syota ako ngayon, diyahe lang- kasing laki ng ipot ang sweldo ko, madami pa ang bayarin, at kailangan ko pa gumala sa Europe and meet people without being confined inside the protective-possessive box of socially-limited love-life. Basta ang hirap ng may tali at this moment of my life. Can you imagine?
Me: Mahal, I want to share my life with you.
Syota: I love you Tripster.
Me: Sige, let’s share the love and the debts together. Let’s talk a walk in the park kaysa gumastos ako na magdate tayo sa resto. And I want to marry you and build a home with you in my room, sa bahay ng mga magulang ko.
Bilib talaga ako sa mga tanjegot na mga kabataang nagkakabuntisan sa peak ng kanilang youthful stupidity.
Anyway, this would really sound very strange for somebody nearing his thirties. Others are too preoccupied starting to build a home and a life with somebody else. I, on the other hand, am trying my best to squeeze life out of existence. I do not intend to swallow the murky slimy flesh of existence without tasting the exhilarating essence of the less crappy side of life.
My lifestyle doesn’t really trouble my parents. Or maybe they just don’t want to ask why I’m not in a serious relationship with some girl. Yung ibang tao lang ang medyo naaalibadbaran sa aking pamumuhay.
They keep on asking why? Sino daw ba ang gusto ko? Naghahanap ba daw ako ng katulad ng dati kong niligawan o yung naging ex ko? Nung hindi pa nga ikakasal yung ex ko, yung iba sa religious group namin nag suggest pa na balikan ko na lang daw yung ex ko.
Ngayon nagiging Feelingerong Flingero na naman ako dahil kahit sa religious community na kung saan ako nabibilang lagi na lang ako niloloko kay Female Friend ko. Mabait, honest at loyal friend yan. Of all the people in that church, yan lang ang isa sa mga natitirang matitinong tao. Hindi naman siya panget pero hindi siya ang type ko. I really don’t like saying these things, but these dim-witted spawns of unmarried antecedents can’t do anything else but put us in the most awkward and embarassing situations. Lagi pang nakahirit yung iba diyan. I can handle it. But up to a certain point they’re becoming really annoying.
Both church and family are pushing me na patulan ko na lang daw si Female Friend. Isipin mo yun? They would teach from their holy books and from the pulpit about love and it’s greatness but in practice they just push you to enter into a relationship with someone you don’t love because they think you’re in a desperate situation and that’s the best thing to do. Marunong pa sila sa puso ng may puso.
Sometimes I do think that these people in my religious community have gone from pure hypocrisy to just being purely mean. Ang hirap naman pakiusapan na tumigil sila. In the end ako lang ang lalabas na pikon at masama ang ugali. Hay, mga ugok nga naman. Bitter much lang. Hehehe... Enough, I’ve said too much. Mamaya kapag na-detect na naman ang blog na ito, mapa-shut-down pa at ma-excommunicate pa ako.
Anyway, I workout, I go to work to pay bills and pay debts, save money, and I want to travel, meet more people (less epals and less freaks), learn kendo, planning to study more French, Chinese and maybe Korean, bunjee jumping, magpa-photoshoot pa with my photographer friend, and many others (and perhaps casual random sex? Hahaha! Nah!). Hedonistic lang. Hehehe...
I just realized na minsan iba talaga ang mental process ko. I view my situation differently. That makes me quite an anomaly in this planet. I’m not alien. I’m not strange. I’m just different.
Sige, gumagabi na. Bukas ng umaga uulitin ko pa ba ang kahibangan na ito? Sa tingin ko hindi na!