Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Rock the Square!!!! (Bawal ang fans ni Bieber dito)

Matagal din ang paghihintay. Eto na talaga! Mukhang tambay ako maghapon neto sa Hard Rock Cafe dito sa Florence.

Earlier I’ve introduced to you Madam Clair Voyant, yung kumare ko. Ibinigay ko sa kanya yung All Access Card ko na marami pang laman na credits. Sabi ko regalo ko sa kanya. Mag-date sila ni kumpare at ubusin na nila yung credits na laman. Ganon ako ka generous (weh!).

But then she decided to invite me and let me come along. Kasama daw ang inaanak ko. Dun daw kami mag lunch sa restaurant ng Hard Rock. Sabi ko mag date na lang silang dalawa, pero mukhang gagawin yata akong baby-sitter. Hahaha! Di bale na, matagal ko na rin hindi nakikita ang inaanak ko.

And since malapit na yung restaurant sa venue ng concert ni Iggy and the Stooges, I might as well stay there until 8 pm. Free concert kaya people would be flocking there. Mabuti pang unahan ko na sila!

Anyway, today, Thursday, September 27, may concert si Iggy Pop and the Stooges dito sa Piazza Repubblica ng Florence.

Sino si Iggy Pop? Hindi ko rin alam. Hahaha!

Matagal ko na naririnig siya. He is considered as one of the fathers of punk rock music. But I’ve never heard any of his songs.

Ok, I just looked him up on YouTube. Siya pala kumanta ng The Passengers.  Didn’t know that!

Shame on me! Sorry rock music lovers….

The event is sponsored by Virgin Radio and Hard Rock.

I saw one of his photos. He’s gone old but he’s skinny! How did he have a flat stomach like that at this age?! Drugs maybe. Hmmm…. Mag drugs na lang din ako. Hehehe!

I was thinking of texting my friends pero mukhang hindi sila interesado. Hay nako, friends ko talaga, para lang gusto ko na silang kalimutan habang buhay. Hirap talaga kapag ang mga nakakasama mo ay fans ni Justin Bieber. Hahaha!

Here's a sample from YouTube

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Madam Claire Voyant

Nabasa ko yung isang kwento ni Tonto PotatoMaliban sa entertaining blogger, isa din pala siyang dalubhasang tarot card reader (I strongly advice you to visit his blog and read about it).

It reminded me of someone I know who has an extraordinary skill. I think she has psychic powers. Although women have this kind of skill (fore-telling and forth-telling, mind reading, inborn lie-detector), her skill is quite exceptional.

Tawagin na lang natin siya sa pangalang Madam Claire Voyant.

Si Ms. Claire Voyant is a pretty girl. In her early 20’s, may artistahing asawa at gwapong anak. Kahit may pamilya na sexy pa rin si Ms. Claire Voyant. She’s not the typical girl. Aside from her extrasensory perceptive gift, she’s also an intelligent woman.

She confided one time that when she was a young girl she burst into tears because she had a premonition that their old neighbor was going to die that day. At nagkatotoo nga.

In many other instances, she would unintentionally declare something like, “Bukas maaaksidente si Nena”, “May mangyayari kay Juanita”, “Magiging Julio na si Julia”, or something in that line. Hindi naman niya intention ang magbigay ng ominous announcements. It just seemed and felt normal to her na sabihin yung mga ganong bagay without knowing na she was actually giving prophecies and seeing premonitions.

Hindi naman lahat ng nakikita niya eh negative. Actually, yung asawa niya ngayon, na childhood sweetheart niya, nakita din niya noon na magiging asawa niya. Madaming pinagdaanan ang love story nila, na kung iisipin mo ay parang hindi sila magkakatuluyan, and yet, because of some simple twist of fate, eh sila pa rin sa huli. Kung makikita mo nga sila, dahil sa maganda at gwapo mapapaisip ka na siguro talagang destiny at true love, may hitsura kasi eh! Hahahaha! Kahit yung hitsura nga ng baby nila nakita niya rin.

Sa ngayon isang magiting na restaurant manager si Ms. Claire Voyant. Kumare ko nga siya actually. I’m not sure if she will read this and I hope she will like this post.

Believe me. Never provoke the temper of a prophetess or an oracle. You have no idea how powerful their words can be. Sometimes they don’t even realize the power of their own words. Kaya I wrote something positive about Ms. Claire Voyant! Hehehe! Pero minsan na-intimidate ako sa kanya. Maybe because she’s beautiful and smart, and maybe because sa dami ng mga inililihim ko sa buhay eh natatakot ako na baka biglang ma-reveal ang lahat sa kanya ng hindi oras! Hehehe….

But kidding aside, mabait si Ms. Claire Voyant at ang kanyang Mr. Action Star husband. Hindi lang sila matalino at edukado, they really have good character. Siyempre tao din sila. The have their own flaws, but generally, they’re good-natured and folks with good manners.

 I was wondering also, will their son inherit the same gift? Kung mangyari man, ang swerte ko naman dahil ninong niya ako! So, sino ang magpapahula ngayon diyan, magpalista na! Hahahaha!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Virgin Charlie Challenge Week #28- Stories from the Steambath

May steam bath sa gym namin. I like it the best after mag-workout. What I like the most about it ay yung mga kwentuhan ng mga napunta sa loob. Eavesdropping mode lagi ako dun dahilan na rin sa wala akong mga kasamang kakwentuhan. Kaya ayun, nakikichismis na lang ako. Hindi naman ako halatang nakiki-epal dahil sa hamog na pumapalibot sa amin.

Steam baths are usually the ideal place para mag exchange ng mga secrets o mga simpleng kwentuhan lang.

In 10 minutes you get great steamy stories. Yun ang advantage kapag foreigner ka. Madalas iniisip nila hindi ko naiintindihan language nila, kaya ayun kwentuhan sila. Mga utu-uto! Kaya nga lima ang pinag-aralan ko, masagap ko lang mga kwento ng buhay niyo! Hahaha!

Typical story line ng mga babae sa sauna-

Girl 1: So did you go for it?
Girl 2: Of course not! It’s our first date. I’m not a whore.

Naks! Good girl si Inday!

Another Girl 1: Bakit ba hindi niya maintindihan ang gusto kong mangyari?
Another Girl 2: Oo nga. They never want to understand.

The thing is, we try our best, it’s just that women are born complicated. Kayo nga eh, hindi niyo maintindihan sarili niyo, kami pa kaya!

Then I heard two girls talking about orgasms. I don’t want to reveal the details. Hearing the innermost secrets of women are so disturbing, entertaining and really puzzling. Hahaha!

Yes, women are interesting creatures. Beautiful, fragrant and impossible. The same wouldn’t be said with my own species who can be plain boring, stupid and be plain a**holes. Men are not strange. We are usually dumb. And that makes us odd species dwelling among so-called intelligent life forms.

The following are the line of stories shared by the male species according to their age groups- men (40 and above), guys (20-30), boys (16-19).

Group of men: all agreeing that the Democratic Party in Italy is not ready to govern. And then business or their careers. Then sports. This will be followed about their boring life in terms of domestic issues with wives. It usually ends with, “Hey did you notice that chic in the gym floor?”

Group of guys: Latest in sports, then their exercises and routines, followed by physical examination of each other (usually initiated by one guy, hmmm… hahahaha!), and then their sexcapades and talks about women as their ultimate sexual objects. Horn dogs.

Group of boys: Latest in sports, then exercises and routines, attempted physical examination of each other, no sex talk because some are too young but it’s usually about their girlfriends and how complicated they are, and then other girls whom they fantasy. But there’s a twist. They will talk about Pokemon, Dragon Ball or One Piece.

Alpha Males. See what I mean? But if you want my honest opinion- SQUIRTLE IS STILL THE BEST!

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Virgin Charlie Challenge Week # 27- Compass

I’m now in my 27th week. I’m very sorry to say this but I’m not making any progress. I went to the gym only twice and did a lousy routine in less than an hour.

I’m not so motivated. Argh! I want to blame everything on my best friend. Ever since he visited me here last May, and after the photoshoot he did to me, it seems I lost track of everything. And then, my Roman Holiday with him was more like Slob Week.

And so I tried to get back to the healthy lifestyle, but it’s pretty hard.

Lumipat na rin ako ng gym dahil nga ang Team Philippines nandun sa dati kong gym. Hehehe!

I went to the gym floor, and there was this super-dude-testosterone-driven-dick-head-of-a-gym-freak.

Katatapos ko lang ng isang set with the dumbbells. I was training my shoulders and upper body. Obviously, since I’m a beginner I was lifting weights lighter than those of this super-dude-testosterone-driven-dick-head-of-a-gym-freak. He was looking at me with that freakin’ smirk splashed like shit on his god-forsaken face. And then he opened his mouth and tried to say something smart.

“Nawawala ka yata.”, sabi ni pareng bugok, sabay tawa. Of course hindi naman siya nag-tagalog. I turned to face him with that dumb smirk on his face.

“Hindi pare, hindi ako nawawala. May compass nga ako eh, at laging nakaturo sa north. Look.”, at ipinakita ko ito sa kanya ito.

Bad trip naman kasi. Pakialamero! Manlalait pa. Obviously umalis na agad ako doon. Ikaw na ang mang-asar ng isang super-dude-testosterone-driven-dick-head-of-a-gym-freak na malaki ang katawan. Natakot din ako na baka basagin niya mukha ko. Hahaha!

Tandaan sa lahat ng panlalait ng mga ganyang nilalang, gamitan lang lagi ng witty responses, at mag training sa pagtakbo just in case na mga higanteng muscle men ang asarin mo, para mabilis ang pagtakas. Hahaha!

Pero yung pagtawanan ka ng ganon sa gym minsan talaga nakaka-discourage. Pero ganon talaga. Magsisimula ka talaga sa ganyan. Dati nga pinagtawanan pa ako ng isang trainer. But you have to forget all that, allow yourself to be humiliated, and persevere in your training and goal. Ganon talaga. You’ll be hurt physically and emotionally. But that’s life. Life happens. You’ll get hurt. But you must not stop and must never get lost in your path towards the finish line. And in times of emergency, keep that special compass that always points upward. Ipakita mo yan lagi sa mga epal sa tabi mo kapag hinihigit ka nila pababa!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Significant Figures ep. 09- My Job

3- number of years I’ve been working for this multi-national monster

45- days before my contract expires.

45- days of waiting whether I’ll be kicked out or be made a perpetual slave to the minimum wage.

7- days before my role is changed to a “higher degree” of responsibility. Don’t know if I’m to consider it promotion or death penalty.

0%- grade of satisfaction in my job

0- available jobs in town

0%- level on how dignifying my job is, according to God’s children

1,000,000- job posts for aspiring male prostitutes

50 euros- minimum for a simple service.

0- chances of becoming a man-whore

75%- level of desperation, this explains why I’m resolving to sell my body. Easy money, enjoy pa.

N/A- I was told to count my blessings. Pak shet!

Our Prayer for Today- The 3 o’clock whining habit

God, I’m a good person. I pay my tithes. I’m still virgin, for now. I’m no cam-whore, or whore at all. I try to be respectful and courteous, and obedient. I do all those stuff for you which none of those other freakin’ children of yours care to do. Now I’m left here in the most pathetic situation.

I’ve ceased with my ambition of ruling the world, for now.

Please make me a better person. Your sense of humour is cool but I’m not laughing anymore, so please stop making me the butt of jokes in the family, ok? Grant me a better job with a better salary. Drop at least 2,500 euros in front of me so I can pay my debts, and if you feel like doing it, add some millions of euros as well.

Thank you!

18 Down!

A-   Auster, Paul- Oracle Night
B-    Barnes, Julian- Sense of an Ending
C-    Cornwell, Patricia- The Last Precinct
E-    Eugenides, Jeffrey- The Middlesex
F-    Follett, Ken- The Pillars of the Earth
G-   Grisham, John- The Runaway Jury
H-   Huxley, Aldous- Brave New World
I-     Isherwood, Christopher- A Single Man
K-   Kelman, Stephen- Pigeon English
L-    Lewis, C.S.- The Screwtape Letters
M- Murakami, Haruki- South of the Border, West of the Sun
N-   Nin, Anais- Henry and June
O- O'Donovan, Gerard- The Priest  
P-    Palahniuk, Chuck- Invisible Monsters
R-   Rounding, Virginia- Catherine the Great: Love, Sex, and Power
S-    Simoni, Marcello- Il Mercante dei Libri Maledetti
T-   Tolkien, J.R.R.- The Hobbit
V-   Vonnegut, Kurt- The Cat’s Cradle
W- Wen, Zhu- I Love Dollars and Other Stories of China
X-   Xiaolong, Qiu- Death of a Red Heroine

Friday, September 14, 2012

South of the Border, West of the Sun- First Love Doesn’t Die, It Kills You First.

There’s a little masochist in everyone. In a sense that we like conjuring memories of the only person who made our heart beat in the wrong moment of our life. It’s sweet and painful at the same time. Eventually, we get depressed. But we actually knew from the very beginning that something like this would happen and that it was preventable. It’s an emotional suicide.

The story is about Hajime. He was a loner as a kid and he grew up with Shimamoto, his childhood sweetheart who disguises her awkwardness at walking with a limp. After school the two would meet to listen to records and talk about their future.

Now Hajime is in his thirties, has a jazz bar, a family. He’s practically in the prime of his life. It seems he has everything, until…

One night, out of the blue, he met his old flame Shimamoto. This unusual encounter made him euphoric. All of a sudden, he looked at his life and thought that despite all that he had, it is empty. He felt compelled to consummate his love with Shimamoto.

Things developed between the two despite the fact that the woman is always unreachable and keep on appearing and disappearing every now and then.

And that’s the weirdest part. The enigmatic woman- unreachable, beautiful and impossible. It is not clear of she’s real or if she’s a ghost or the sublimation of the guy’s imagination. Whatever the case is, it was still hard to trace her, and it simply kills his spirit.

Shimamoto is a true metaphor of that first love- the one that got away. Unreachable. Untraceable. Untouchable. You can’t do anything but linger. And once she or he is gone, it feels like it’s the end of it all. Life is not a dream. First love never really dies. It kills you.

The novel emits the same vibes I feel when I hear my forever favourite song, “Huling El Bimbo”. Never fails to make me cry.

First love ko? Grabe, ‘di ko inaasahan na magiging TL ako sa kanya. Alam kong nababaduyan ka na sa mga sinasabi ko pero sana naman ay maintindihan mo. O pare ko, meron ka bang maipapayo? Kung wala ay okay lang.

Hehehe… Aminin, napakanta ka din ano? Kung hindi, well, hindi ka siguro 90’s kid at hindi ka rin fan ng Eraserheads. Ang lungkot naman ng buhay mo. Hahaha! Joke!

Sa first love ko, hanggang tingin, tawanan at ngiti. Suntok sa buwan lang ang mabiyayaan ako ng kanyang labi, ang mahaplos ang kanyang katawan, makasuyo buong gabi, masaya’t magkatabi. Magkayakap sa buong magdamag. Aminin mo, napa-awit ka ulit ano? Kung hindi, eh ano pa ang ginagawa mo dito?

Okay, back to the book.

It’s an easy read, interesting and gives you that eerie surreal Murakami-esque sensation. It will make you conjure from your own heart the memory of the one who got away as salt crystals gracefully fall from your eyes; those pristine droplets of regrets, unspoken pains and ever-sickening youthful yearnings.

At bilang finale, eto ang bagay na awitin para diyan...

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Middlesex: It’s Definitely Not Another Gay Novel

Akala ko noong una this is a gay novel. I found out that the author Jeffrey Eugenides wrote the story of the oddly moving film Virgin Suicides, I immediately grabbed a copy.

The title of the book seemed to imply about the gay people and their struggle as a minority. But it’s not like that because:

  1. It’s not about homosexuals but about a hermaphrodite.
  2. Actually, if you look around and observe more carefully, there are a lot of gays in the government, military, and the media, THUS, they shouldn’t be considered a minority but people who are part of our community, our society, who deserve respect and fair treatment.
  3. And this post will not deal about human rights and homosexuals after this point.

Middlesex is the story of Cal who was once Calliope and his/her genetic history.

It’s about:
  1. The main character’s Greek origins. How his special genetic formation was caused by the incestual nature of his grandparents’ relationship.
  2. Hermaphrodites and why they are not lesser human beings.
  3. Family and how it affects and shapes the character and destiny of a person.
  4. Immigration and the crazy, fun and nostalgic journey of his grandparents from Greece to America, in the land where dreams supposedly come true and were Philippines has a special extended territory in the states of California and Hawaii. Okay, Philippines has nothing to do with the story actually.
It’s a very interesting book. Somehow I can identify myself with some of the characters. Not that I’ve been validated for having a penis and a vagina, but since I am an expatriate, I sometimes understand the perspective of the characters, of seeing and observing things from an immigrant’s point of view, felt the strangeness of setting foot on a foreign land, the cultural shock, the oddity of the ways of the people of the host country, and the hopes and dreams of an expatriate.
Not only his family’s history is an epic tale, even his personal struggle and search of his identity will make you discover a different kind of world.
The novel is fun to read and very entertaining, and in some ways moving.
Five stars!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Oracle Night

I usually judge a book an excellent masterpiece if it compels me to do something out of the ordinary or if it pushes me to start a habit I’ve never done before.

In this case, Paul Auster’s “Oracle Night” is an excellent masterpiece.

The novel begins with Nick, after recovering from a devastating coma, discovers a notebook that would turn his life with mysterious twists and turns.

Nick writes a story about an editor who is mesmerized by a manuscript entitled “Oracle Night”, a story within a story, within a story. But more than that Nick’s story was quite prophetic. As his story progressed into an odd one, so are his strange encounters in New York and ominous events that would reveal long-hidden secrets and hidden emotions of his wife and friends. All suspicions, infidelities and treacherous sentiments would die, but it wouldn’t be the end of the couple. There would be a tragic chapter, but it’s only a catalyst for another story of their lives.

Auster’s novel is thrilling and it got me hooked. Very stunning and absorbing.

His novel compelled me to write my journal. Sissy, I know. I actually started writing again in Moleskine notebooks. Well, I’m not actually paid to advertise. I just find their notebooks very beautiful and fun to write on. But who cares? Walang basagan ng trip!

Virgin Charlie Challenge Week #26- Nakapagtataka

Nakapagtataka naman talaga. Sabi nila kaduda-duda na talaga ang mga lalaking nagpupunta sa gym. Magdadalawang isip daw ang isang babae kapag nakakita ng isang lalaking maganda ang katawan.

Isipin mo nga naman, among Filipino guys, mukha noon ang labanan. Kapag nakita mo rin ang mga dating actors ng mga softcore porn drama-kuno movies ng 90’s, ibang iba ang katawan nila noon (weh, halatang nanood ng bawal!). Ibang concept ng male sensuality at sexiness.

Pero ok naman ngayon di ba? At least yung mga panget, mapaganda lang ang katawan, may laban na talaga sa mga gwapo! Hehehehe! Fitness is truly “democratized”- para sa lahat na talaga.

Wala talaga ako masabi except for the fact that some guys really have this homoerotic tendencies. Mauunawan ko siguro ang mga gays, pero yung mga straight?

I wrote one time about these tendencies in Week #4. But I still find it absurd.

I’m not like most guys. In fact, I’m not like most human beings at all. I try NOT TO BE DIFFERENT. Pero hindi ko talaga kayang sakyan minsan ang trip ng karamihan.

Tulad na lang ng magsama-sama sa gym. Ok lang ang magkasabay during training. Eh yung magsabay sa locker-room at maghipuan ng mga kasu-kasuan? Maybe because it’s just me na may issue sa physical contact. But it’s quite new to me yung ipahipo sa kapwa ang muscle, abs, or whatever. Natatawa na lang ako. Things have really changed.

Parang kailan lang wala pa yang mga fitness centers na yan. Iilan lang nakakaisip niyan, yung mga sports-minded talaga.

Maybe ako lang ang malisyoso. Hindi naman talaga homoerotic tendencies eh. Men are just becoming like vain women. As in, REAL MEN becoming so vain.

In the sex games of human race and their desperate attempt to achieve mind-blowing orgasms, and if they feel like doing it- procreate- it’s important for women to look good to be taken. Now, men are also doing that role.

Anyway, madami lang ako naiisip. Time to get back to the floor and do deadlifts and bench presses correctly. Nagsasakitan ako likod ko dahil mali naman pala ang ginagawa ko! Bad trip!

Saturday, September 01, 2012

Virgin Charlie Challenge Week # 25- For Fitness Freaks and Fitness Noobs

Found this website- Muscle & Strength (

It’s a website about fitness and workout.

For beginners like me, they have interesting articles and tips from experts on how to start a meal program and workouts that fits you.

It’s very informative and educational. They’ve got lots and lots of routines for fitness pro’s and fitness noobs.

If you want to start be fit, sexy and healthy, you better visit this website.