Sunday, September 16, 2012

Significant Figures ep. 09- My Job


3- number of years I’ve been working for this multi-national monster



45- days before my contract expires.

45- days of waiting whether I’ll be kicked out or be made a perpetual slave to the minimum wage.

7- days before my role is changed to a “higher degree” of responsibility. Don’t know if I’m to consider it promotion or death penalty.

0%- grade of satisfaction in my job

0- available jobs in town

0%- level on how dignifying my job is, according to God’s children

1,000,000- job posts for aspiring male prostitutes

50 euros- minimum for a simple service.

0- chances of becoming a man-whore

75%- level of desperation, this explains why I’m resolving to sell my body. Easy money, enjoy pa.

N/A- I was told to count my blessings. Pak shet!

Our Prayer for Today- The 3 o’clock whining habit

God, I’m a good person. I pay my tithes. I’m still virgin, for now. I’m no cam-whore, or whore at all. I try to be respectful and courteous, and obedient. I do all those stuff for you which none of those other freakin’ children of yours care to do. Now I’m left here in the most pathetic situation.

I’ve ceased with my ambition of ruling the world, for now.

Please make me a better person. Your sense of humour is cool but I’m not laughing anymore, so please stop making me the butt of jokes in the family, ok? Grant me a better job with a better salary. Drop at least 2,500 euros in front of me so I can pay my debts, and if you feel like doing it, add some millions of euros as well.

Thank you!


18 comments:

  1. I'm sure better job with better salary is waiting for u.. Maniwala ka lang :)

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement! Buti na lang may mga co-bloggers ako na full of positivity!

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  2. haha ending is a chance for a new beginning or should i say better start

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    1. I sure hope so. Last time nagkaroon ng ending kasi, napunta ako mula sa super salary to legalised exploitation. I hope the new beginning will not be about me being a fully-certified slave.

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  3. agree ako kay archie...just believe :)

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    1. Thank you guys! Pero feeling ko talaga it's about to end. I'm not sure kung happy ako o hindi. hahaha!

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  4. Kung hindi ka satisfied sa job mo, mas magandang maghanap ka ng iba kung sa'n pwede kang mag-enjoy [Hindi yung pagiging callboy tol! lol].

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    1. Hahaha! Oo nga. Hindi pa naman ako ganon ka desperate. Besides, desperate lang siguro ang papatol talaga sakin. hahaha!

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  5. Do a magic mike show ...
    i'll honestly break my piggy bank to watch it ;)

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    1. Ows di nga? Pareho tayong desperate ah. hahahaha! Damihan mo bayad para private show lang talaga. hahaha!

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  6. 0- chances of becoming a man-whore
    bigyan mo ng chance yan. malay mo diyan ka magprosper. joke lang. hehehehe.

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    1. Hahaha! I keep on saying na hindi ko pa matagpuan ang calling ko sa buhay. Baka eto na nga! Nyahaha!

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  7. I say amen to your 3 o'clock whining prayer.

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  8. hmmm... bakit di i-try ang pagiging man-whore? iba't iba na ngaon ang taste ng mga matrona. Malay mo? hehe. Everthing will work out eventually. Just keep the faith.

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    1. A rich horny cougar or a rich gay benefactor? Alin ba sa dalawa ang madaling i-please? hehehe! I do hope so. Sa bago kong role sa trabaho, i'm not sure talaga kung exciting or scary. Hay nako...

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  9. haha. enjoyed this figuratively significant post/ significantly figurative post.

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    1. Salamat naman at ang aking pathetic situation ay nakapagpatawa sayo. Hahaha! But thanks for visiting. Kung gusto mo pang tumambay marami pang episode ang segment na ito. Please do read the others. nag promote pa eh.

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Sige, sakayan niyo ang trip ko....