Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Meet Mr. Grey


Ladies and gay men, closeted boys, boys in denial, and boys who are on the verge of crossing to the other side, I want you all to meet Mr. Christian Grey.

Christian Grey is the human version of Edward Cullen, but a lot better because he’s human and he doesn’t sparkle under the sun. He’s a CEO of a big company, he’s sexy, and all girls want to have him between the sheets. And just like Edward Cullen, HE’S NOT REAL.

Yes, I admit it, I READ 50 SHADES OF GREY. Without shame, I want the whole world to know that I READ 50 SHADES OF GREY. Out of curiosity really. I actually violated one of my cardinal rules of not reading any book that is just as famous as Twilight. No offense Twilight fans. Iba iba kasi nga trip natin. Pero na tripan ko nga basahin ang sinulat ni E. L. James.



It was actually in my AZ Book Challenge List of 2012.

Anyway, I was so curious to know why the book is so famous. A girl would react to the word ‘Grey’ in a very peculiar manner.

You say “Grey”, and she blushes and sweats a little.

Say his name louder, and she let’s out a sigh, a moan of pleasure.

Shout his name at the top of your lungs, and she gets an orgasm.

Parang ganito….



The concept of the book is not really new. Ang sexual genre pa neto ay BDSM. HINDI PO AKO PRACTITIONER NETO SA KAMA. Para sa hindi po nakakaalam nito, please consult Wikipedia, dahil baka ilihis lang ng mga search engines kayo sa nga porn sites. Uy! Porn agad ang pupuntahan niya! Hahahaha!

However, they marketed the book as a romantic novel, with faint hints of sadomasochism. And it’s not really the language or technique of the writer that attracted readers. It’s Christian Grey, the male character of the story.

He’s a control freak. He wants to take in charge of everything. He’s rich. He wants to provide you everything. When he wants a girl, he wants her all by himself. And when he wants a girl, he lavishes her with all his attention, time, priorities, resources, sex, sex, a flogging, chains, sex, sex, and even more sex. Yes, it’s so sexual I had to stop reading after some chapters. I never made it to the end. Hindi naman ako ganong ka sexual na tao.

Nobody wants to talk about or hear anything about Anastasia Steele, the female lead character- the literature graduate who is imperfect, unglamorous, and just like any average girl. Everybody (yes, even the male population) wants to hear about Grey.

Pero masyado kayong humahanga kay Christian Grey. Let me show you a chart to explain why I can be better than him….


                                                           CHRISTIAN GREY                         T. G.
Physique
Ripped, muscular, hairy guy
I got abs under a protective layer which they call tummy, smooth, and I do have a very sexy personality
Eyes
Attractive and penetrating gray eyes
Attractive and near-sighted dark brown eyes
Hair
Bushy, unruly hair, the kind that says “I’m fashionably sensitive but too cool to care.”
Dons his favourite fauxhawk style that says “It’s a trend that allows me to be practical, cool and be ready in less than 15 mins. every morning”
Wealth
-Perhaps a six figure salary
- Dominant in his trade/business
- owns luxurious apartment and house
- surrounded by bodyguards
-minimum wage
-submissive slave and an ambitious suck-up
-Lives in a small room he fondly calls “The Cell” or “The Incubator”
-he’s the bodyguard, driver, and the main target of power trippers
Ride
-an EC135 Eurocopter (that’s a helicopter by the way)
-a black Audi SUV
- an old blue Volkswagen Golf that has a staggering worth of sentimental value.
Taste in music
-likes opera
-likes Kings of Leon
-likes opera
-likes Kings of Leon
Musical skills
-plays the piano well
- studied classical piano (basic skills)
-acceptable guitar skills
-discreet voice (hah! Naka lamang din!)
Skills in bed
15 girls + 1 cougar
N/A (hahaha! Never mind!)
Private Member
Enormous
Not so enormous
Kinky Sex- Role and what game
- Dominant
- has a Red Room of Pleasure/Pain
- Versatile (anything for money)
- Anywhere is ok.
- Let’s keep it traditional as possible. Though handcuffs and blind-folding will do.
Existence
Fiction
-         Average Joe
-         Real

Winner: TRIPSTER GUY

Because you can’t have an orgasm just by a book (paano mo ipapasok yan?), and even a not so enormous member has the ability to please you and blow you mind away with a boom-boom-pow action in bed. Yeah meeeen! 


And here's another thing....


58 comments:

  1. HAHAHA naaliw ako sobra dito :) nakakatuwa. nice :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can smell some..... jealousy?

    hahahaha!

    Ako I don't read this book kasi I think its ridiculous and delusional.

    "and even a not so enormous member has the ability to please you and blow you mind away with a boom-boom-pow action in bed. "

    -I CONCUR!

    Do I need to explain further? HAHA!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ay nakalimutan ko i-add

      natawa ako sa comparison.

      Very real.

      Now you're starting to be sexy... and interesting.

      ehem....

      What's your number again?

      ehem.

      LOL!

      Delete
    2. Indecent proposal ba yan? If yes, then call me maybe! hahahaha! I'm honest when I write because I'm hiding behind a mask. You say I'm sexy, that's because it's just the personality. Pero kung katawan ang habol mo eh, makuntento ka na lang sa blog ko. hahaha!

      Delete
    3. by the way, the number is +39388114****... hulaan mo last four. Kapag na contact mo ako, sige makikipag date ako sayo. Wehehehe!

      Delete
    4. Did I just get a boner?

      Kiddin... kiddin... KIDDING nga eh wag ka nga.

      wahahahahaha!

      Sexy personality makes you everything and when it makes you everything it compensate your whole package. (no pun intended)

      Hahahaha!

      F this shades of gray makes me releases more testosterones. gggrr! (no pun again)

      Hahaha!

      Delete
  3. ive heard a lot about grey, ilang beses na akong nagattempt to read this but i cant find time. nakakainis! busyng busy na ang lahat sa mga kwento about sa book na ito and super hindi ako makarelate ang alam ko lang landi landian ang show nito at yan ang nakakabuhay ng dugo ng ilan!! hahahaha anak ng wooohhhoo!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Todo sa landi! Forget it! Hindi ko na nga din tinapos.

      Delete
  4. Tutok na tutok ako sa video! Lol, at paano mo nga naman ipapasok ang libro? O_0 Hindi ko pa nababasa ang 50 shades na ito at mukhang mahal yata ang book T_T pahiram na lang ako :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehehe.. galeng no? Mahirap yung ganyan kapag tinatago mo sa iba. Bistadong bistado ka. Orgasmic coloratura is my kind of music. hahaha!

      Delete
  5. you know what? i bought the 3 books of 50 shades sa sobrang curious ko..pero hanggang ngaun hindi ko magawang tapusin ang first book.. sa twing may eksenang sex kasi kinakailangan kong tumigil magbasa eh hahaha!

    oi in fairness pareho kayo ng taste in music...oh eh di ikaw na panalo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know right! hehehe... Sa totoo lang, it's the character of Christian Grey that made it interesting. Siya yung ideal niyong lalaki na gusto niyong kasama sa street, at yung lalaki na gusto niyong kasama sa sheets. At siya din yung lalaking sobra naming kinaiinggitan, na gusto naming upakan!

      Delete
  6. haha di ko pa nabasa yan haha pero dame ko nang naririnig ng usap usapan haha
    well sexcapades? yung sa tabloid at sa blog pa lng nababasa ko haha
    at nakakaenjoy naman talaga msa ok pa nga misna kaysa sa mga live action haha you know what i mean haha

    want ko sana panuorin ang video kaso hirap my mga batang gising pa hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ikaw ha, bata-bata mo pa, kung anu-ano na ang binabasa mo! hahaha!

      Delete
  7. Di ko pa rin nauumpisahan basahin yan at mag iisat kalahating taon na halos nka tengga yung EPUB file sa tablet ko... Bet ko maka atak jan sa Incubator mo Mr. TG at igapos mo ako...tapos i chunky check na yang not so enormous ek ek na yan!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pambihira ka naman Baronesa, ako tuloy ang napapaurong sa takot. Masyado ka naman aggressive! hahaha!

      Delete
  8. may pdf ako kaso di ko pa tapos basahin.... english aksi lol!

    pero ayos ang bed scene.... talagang pasok sa banga hehehe

    alam ko maraming babae ang nagbasa ng book na yan

    astig naman ng video hehehe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nako, talagang papatok ito sa lahat ng kababaihan. Ok naman ang bed scenes pero hindi ko talaga trip ang BDSM. Itinigil ko na lang sa kalagitnaan, di ko na tinapos. Nagsisi pa ako kung bakit ko pa nasimulan.

      Delete
  9. thanks for having me meet mr. grey. The profile above is indeed interesting. I have not read the book, but I surely know him...:)


    xx!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehehe! nako, since you don't have a penis, magugustuhan mo nga siya. hahaha!

      Delete
  10. wow... you gave good point why you're better than Christian Grey... ikaw na ang panala Mr. Tripster...yey...

    Hanap na tayo ng punlisher at gawa na tayo ng book para best selling din....what do you think?

    Kahit wala 'yang table of comparative analysis niyo, sa iyo pa rin ako... kahit pa hindi pa fiction si Christian Grey...

    I will be forever Tripsternatic...lol

    ReplyDelete
  11. hahaha :) siguro panahon na para gumawa ka rin ng isang libro na may karakter na magrerepresent din sayo :)

    sa ganung paraan, match talaga ang laban lol

    bakit nga pala N/A yung skills in bed? haha *just kidding*

    na-enjoy ko ang pagbabasa nito :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nah! I value privacy so much. Whatever i do within the borders of my room or chambers of pleasure is something between me and the person/s involved in such exchanges of passion. Tama na yang ilang details na yan. Hehehehe!

      If I were to publish a book, hindi ito erotica. My goodness, mauubusan ako ng dugo at lakas bago ko matapos ang ganong genre. hahaha!

      Delete
  12. Nabasa ko yung Twilight bago siya naging movie! Nyahaha. Nagsisisi na ako ngayon! Lol.

    I really don't understand why girls want guys that are "in control". It's a big mystery to me. I'm the "passive" type kaya siguradong madi-disappoint sila. Haha.

    At bakit kelangang i-compare kayong dalawa pre? You'll never win with a perfect fictional character. Lol.

    Entertaining video! Keep it up! XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha! Tama ka. Pero masarap pa rin ang totoo di ba? hahaha!

      Kung iisipin mo nga naman, ang mga kababaihan ngayon ay laging nagtatrabaho at kumikilos para sa iba, at para sa asawa. They are stressed and frustrated because men don't even try to hit the right buttons of pleasure. Si Grey ay ang concept ng lalaki na hinahanap-hanap nila na hindi nila makita sa totoong buhay.

      Yun lang kasi ang problema sa kanila- THEY CHASE AFTER SILLY DREAMS.

      Delete
  13. Haven't read that book yet, but I'm sure we're so much hotter than that Christian Grey guy.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yes, I've read this and I have to stop hahaha! so ikaw na ngyn ang aking Mr.Christian Grey and I wanna see you..now...lol

    ReplyDelete
  15. ...at yun pala si christian grey. di naman pala kami nagkakalayo. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  16. ahoy, salamat sir T.G. for following my blog :)

    @topic, hindi ko pa din nababasa itong 50 shades of grey pero lalo akong na-intrigued nang mabasa ko ang comparisson nyo with Christian Grey hehe. Ayun, may e-book pa lang na-DL yung kapatid ko. Ma check nga after this lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nako, wag mong simulan ang isang bagay na pagsisisihan mo din....

      Delete
  17. I loved this, Mr. Tripster. At ikaw talaga ang panalo, walang panama si Mr. Grey sayo. Yeah, I have to admit na nun ilang beses akong makabasa ng tungkol sa Shades of Grey online e nagbasa din ako. Pero like you, hindi ko rin siya tinapos. I got bored. Sorry din sa mga fanatics, pero I find it a usual rich-boy-meets-poor-girl-fall-in-love-marry thing. I mean tanggalin mo lahat ng sex scenes and you'll come up with a fairy tale almost like Cinderella. Don't get me wrong, I love fairy tales pero ewan ko ba, basta di ko nagustuhan ang book na yan.. :)

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    Replies
    1. Ms. Joanne! How surprising! You're really a unique girl. As regards to the 50 Shades phenomenon, you're one of the few and rare exceptions. Kudos!

      Delete
  18. hmmm, interesting book! Ngayon ko lang ito narinig, dahil madalas akong nakakulong sa lungga ko.

    Panigurado pag binasa ko na ang book na yan, maiisip kita at ang table of comparisons mo!

    Syempre ikaw ang panalo, "Nothing beats the real thing"!

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  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  20. Hahaha. I hated 50 Shades of Crap, este, Grey with a passion, although I also read it out of curiosity (I gave up after 20 pages). Ang sarap sampal-sampalin ni Anastasia.

    P.S.

    Yay to sexier you.You're going to give Mr.Grey a run for his money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha! Taray mo naman Ms. Pretty/Ugly! Honestly, I didn't expect a comment like this from you. Turns out you're one of our crowd. Cool people! hahaha!

      Delete
  21. effort ang omparison ... but i think mas in ng orgasm ni deo kesa dun sa smaple video hahahah lols ....... i've just a lot about this book ... tinigasan ako bigla shit hhahah!

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    Replies
    1. Ahahahaha! OO NGA! I remember yung Big O ng friend mo. Hahaha! Ideal guy ba si mr. grey sayo? Wag ka, baka magselos partner mo!

      Delete
  22. Curious ako sa book na yan. Di ko pa nababasa wala kasing mabibilan dito nyan. Hehe. Natawa ako sa video. BDSM nga. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nako sir, manood ka na lang ng BDSM porn. mas maganda pa. hahaha! Dyuk! Nah, it was a waste of money and time.

      Delete
  23. peram naman po ako....
    ang alam ko lang is yung 42.75 shades of grey.... natawaran ko kasi yung 50 shades of grey ni e.l. james.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't you want all of grey? hehehehe... kung gusto mo, sayong sayo na!

      Delete
  24. One time namimili ako ng pangx'mas gifts sa may book section ng mga kids, biglang pagkakita ko katabi lang ng mga kiddie books ang fifty shades of grey, shocks! On sale sya, yung 3 klase 1 package na mura lang tas sabi ko kay hubby if familiar sya about sa 50 shades of grey book (certified bookworm si hubby), he said yes and if I willing to read daw he can buy for me which I refused. Tas now nagsisisi ako sana nabili na namin haha!

    Btw I love the comparison, winner ka talaga, as in winner kasi nagpapakatotoo ka hehehe. I'm not fond of pure fiction pero sa librong ito habang dalang-dala ka sa mga binabasa mo e masarap din mag-imagine na perfect ang character sa katauhan ni C. Grey :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah, i figured that you would like Mr. Grey. I can't blame you. Minsan talaga, men, out of negligence, fail to please their women (even their own men, hehehe...).

      Pero buti hindi na-irritate ang hubby mo. Kasi, when women start raving about 50 shades, then that means they find something in grey that they are looking for in their husbands. For me, kung ganon ang magiging reaction ng asawa ko, I would feel like a failure. Maaasar lalo ako kay EL James at kay Mr. Grey. hahaha!

      Delete
  25. Napadaan lang po ako... naaliw ako sa video, sobra. may PDF copy din ako nga book. Sabi nila eh pang babae daw ang book pero para sa akin din naman. Nasa bumabasa lang. Hahihinto ako kapag mga bed scene na yung eksena parang di ko kinakaya. May rumors din na gagawing pelikula ang book. Si Ryan Gosling at si Ian Somerhalder yung natandaan kong pinagpipilian, pero ang sabi ay "baka" si Ian ang gawing Christian Grey (baka lang wala pa kasing official na cast eh ehehehe).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So I heard. Pero if they really want to make a movie out of it, eh naunahan na sila. May movie na lumabas, and it isn't such a surprise that it's a PORNOGRAPHIC MOVIE. Porn naman dapat lang yun, ewan ko ba kung ano pang gustong mangyari ng Hollywood.

      Anyway, thanks for dropping by!

      Delete
  26. ibang classe ka talaga mag-blog. Natawa ako haggang hule!
    Anyways, i don't read much book but i know how few women na kapag magbasa talagang apektado ang emotion! Kung ganon nga ang naging impact ng book sa mga women readers...sa dami ba nang mga babaeng single at desperate...ayan sa libro nalang hinanap ang kakulangan! hahaha kaya best seller :))

    Keep it up! love the video...parang commercial lang :))

    ReplyDelete
  27. Replies
    1. Really now. Thank you for visiting and for deciding to never come back.

      Delete
  28. Well,I bought it thinking that it was a love story, but have to stop reading because the book was not for my eyes:)

    After that I was so ashamed that I bought the book. Hays:(

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  29. A friend suggested the trilogy book to me. And it took me a while before I got started. I finished the three books in a week. And yes, I got hooked--reading it brought endless kilig moments to me--that wishful thinking that I hope I can find someone as witty, smart and dominant as Mr.Grey. The revelations as the story progress had made me appreciate it's entirety.

    The comparative table presented had been a wake up call---lol--Mr. Grey is nothing but a creation of a peculiar mind. A symbol of idealism that there is pleasure in pain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, Mr. Grey is the guy that you wanna have, and he's the guy I wanna be. So let's call it quits and kill Mr. Grey to end our longing! hahaha!

      Delete
  30. I read all the book last year. And now me bago. Yung book ni sylvia day po. Gusto ko sa book ay yung power ng babae sa lalaki. I know its about bdsm and the guy christian is dominant pero for me sya yung dependent eh.

    At mr tripster magandang porn to para sa mag asawa. Di naman mavboyfriend sina anastasia at christian. So go go for this lifestyle. Sex is a gift to married couple.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ms. Phioxee the Dominatrix! What a revelation! hahaha! Joke lang!

      yes, I've heard about Sylvia Day and her book. Read some pages. This thing is really not for me.

      Delete

Sige, sakayan niyo ang trip ko....