Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Malandi Man at Magaling, Napagiiwanan Din


Online flirt. Hanggang ganyan lang naman ako. Comment dito, like doon. Isang araw makikita mo na lang na nagbago na ang status niya- In a Relationship with ‘The Guy Who is Now Standing In the Place You Wish Were Yours’.

getyourlaughback.com

Balls. Isa ito sa mga nailistang criteria ni Senyor Iskwater sa kanyang post sa paghahanap ng lifetime partner. Balls. Kulang ako nito. Physically, meron ako neto (ayaw mo maniwala? Gusto mo ng picture?), pero sa relationship, na-castrate yata ako.

Part-time syota. Magaling ako makipaglandian sa trabaho. May isa doon na ‘nag friendly lunch lang sa isang Russian restaurant’, ngayon eh may companion na at soon to be mom. May isa naman na kunwaring kami na para lang kaming adik. Leche! Para naman akong bayaran ng ganitong lagay. Biruan lang naman kasi ang pagiging bf-gf namin ni Miss Marijuana (dahil nga malakas ang topak ng babaeng ito), at dahil diyan isa na ako sa mga marami niyang driver. Pambihira din yung babaeng yun, nakipagbalikan sa boyfriend niya hindi man lang siya masundo. Hanggang ganyan lang naman ako, mapasaya ko lang ang bored na mistress at makuha lang niya ang kanyang pangangailangan. Dapat nga siguro eh naging bayaran na lang din ako, nagka extra money pa ako.

Pero wala pa rin akong balak pumasok sa isang lifetime commitment, o kahit na isang long-term relationship. Malandi ako, pero mild lang. Sino ba ang hindi mahilig makipag flirt? Oo nga pala, sabi ng best friend ko, ang lalaking madikit sa mga babae hindi flirt, FRIENDLY LANG SA GIRLS. Kaya hindi ako flirt. Friendly lang talaga ako. Hehehe!

But believe me, I’m not one of those bastard douchebag types. Napaka harmless ko, promise! Hahaha!

Pero mapapaisip ka din talaga minsan. Girls and boys would come by and you went let them in to your life. You just let them walk on by. And when you look around, shet! Napagiiwanan ka na talaga.

Here’s another truth from the Tripster Guru- Malandi man at magaling, napagiiwanan din.

Awake! February is at hand!

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Meet Mr. Grey


Ladies and gay men, closeted boys, boys in denial, and boys who are on the verge of crossing to the other side, I want you all to meet Mr. Christian Grey.

Christian Grey is the human version of Edward Cullen, but a lot better because he’s human and he doesn’t sparkle under the sun. He’s a CEO of a big company, he’s sexy, and all girls want to have him between the sheets. And just like Edward Cullen, HE’S NOT REAL.

Yes, I admit it, I READ 50 SHADES OF GREY. Without shame, I want the whole world to know that I READ 50 SHADES OF GREY. Out of curiosity really. I actually violated one of my cardinal rules of not reading any book that is just as famous as Twilight. No offense Twilight fans. Iba iba kasi nga trip natin. Pero na tripan ko nga basahin ang sinulat ni E. L. James.



It was actually in my AZ Book Challenge List of 2012.

Anyway, I was so curious to know why the book is so famous. A girl would react to the word ‘Grey’ in a very peculiar manner.

You say “Grey”, and she blushes and sweats a little.

Say his name louder, and she let’s out a sigh, a moan of pleasure.

Shout his name at the top of your lungs, and she gets an orgasm.

Parang ganito….



The concept of the book is not really new. Ang sexual genre pa neto ay BDSM. HINDI PO AKO PRACTITIONER NETO SA KAMA. Para sa hindi po nakakaalam nito, please consult Wikipedia, dahil baka ilihis lang ng mga search engines kayo sa nga porn sites. Uy! Porn agad ang pupuntahan niya! Hahahaha!

However, they marketed the book as a romantic novel, with faint hints of sadomasochism. And it’s not really the language or technique of the writer that attracted readers. It’s Christian Grey, the male character of the story.

He’s a control freak. He wants to take in charge of everything. He’s rich. He wants to provide you everything. When he wants a girl, he wants her all by himself. And when he wants a girl, he lavishes her with all his attention, time, priorities, resources, sex, sex, a flogging, chains, sex, sex, and even more sex. Yes, it’s so sexual I had to stop reading after some chapters. I never made it to the end. Hindi naman ako ganong ka sexual na tao.

Nobody wants to talk about or hear anything about Anastasia Steele, the female lead character- the literature graduate who is imperfect, unglamorous, and just like any average girl. Everybody (yes, even the male population) wants to hear about Grey.

Pero masyado kayong humahanga kay Christian Grey. Let me show you a chart to explain why I can be better than him….


                                                           CHRISTIAN GREY                         T. G.
Physique
Ripped, muscular, hairy guy
I got abs under a protective layer which they call tummy, smooth, and I do have a very sexy personality
Eyes
Attractive and penetrating gray eyes
Attractive and near-sighted dark brown eyes
Hair
Bushy, unruly hair, the kind that says “I’m fashionably sensitive but too cool to care.”
Dons his favourite fauxhawk style that says “It’s a trend that allows me to be practical, cool and be ready in less than 15 mins. every morning”
Wealth
-Perhaps a six figure salary
- Dominant in his trade/business
- owns luxurious apartment and house
- surrounded by bodyguards
-minimum wage
-submissive slave and an ambitious suck-up
-Lives in a small room he fondly calls “The Cell” or “The Incubator”
-he’s the bodyguard, driver, and the main target of power trippers
Ride
-an EC135 Eurocopter (that’s a helicopter by the way)
-a black Audi SUV
- an old blue Volkswagen Golf that has a staggering worth of sentimental value.
Taste in music
-likes opera
-likes Kings of Leon
-likes opera
-likes Kings of Leon
Musical skills
-plays the piano well
- studied classical piano (basic skills)
-acceptable guitar skills
-discreet voice (hah! Naka lamang din!)
Skills in bed
15 girls + 1 cougar
N/A (hahaha! Never mind!)
Private Member
Enormous
Not so enormous
Kinky Sex- Role and what game
- Dominant
- has a Red Room of Pleasure/Pain
- Versatile (anything for money)
- Anywhere is ok.
- Let’s keep it traditional as possible. Though handcuffs and blind-folding will do.
Existence
Fiction
-         Average Joe
-         Real

Winner: TRIPSTER GUY

Because you can’t have an orgasm just by a book (paano mo ipapasok yan?), and even a not so enormous member has the ability to please you and blow you mind away with a boom-boom-pow action in bed. Yeah meeeen! 


And here's another thing....


Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Pinoy Bloggers- sa isip, sa salita, at sa gawa


 Give credit to whom credit is due.

I would like to dedicate this post to congratulate and honor my fellow bloggers for the successful Pinoy Bloggers Outreach.



Nahihiya ako at naiinggit.

Nahihiya dahil hindi na ako nakapag contribute na kahit man lang isang pisong duling. Napaurong ako dahil hiningan ako ng 1 million. Hahaha! Biro lang. Hindi pa din kasi dumating yung sweldo ko. Lately ko lang nakita yung details. Nabasa ko ito one time sa post ni Archieviner. 

Naiinggit dahil gustong gusto ko maging part ng ganitong mga programs. Hindi naman ako philantrophist or anything. Dati akong activist, at laging nasa puso ko ang pag-mobilize at pag support ng mga projects to educate and help the needy and give voice to the minority.

Medyo nag-iba na ang hangin ko kaya naka suporta na lang ako sa outreach programs ng church namin at sa association ng Save the Children.

I was really impressed kung paano nag-materialize ito.

It started with a simple dream. And then, an idea. And then, the idea became a reality, and my God, what a reality! It made a lot of children smile. Dahilan na rin sa sayang dala ng mga bloggers.

I remember taking part in a meeting of community leaders para pag-usapan ang pagbuo ng isang outreach program para sa isang certain village sa Pilipinas. The discussions (and debate) rivaled the heated exchanges in a Senate hearing or a committee meeting in the House of Representatives. The noble dream of helping the poor was being made real by the machineries of ego, politics, and idiocy. Ang tagal bago na-finalize ang concept. Pero salamat sa Diyos at nagkaroon ng magandang result.

Pero this PBO started with the collaboration of four particular bloggers- Gracie from graciesnetwork, Mar of Unplog, Arline of The Pink Line, and (one of our top icons) Arvin of Archieviner. And January came, and the deed was done!

Quick wits and quick actions. Best of all, the people behind the scenes, the bloggers, the volunteers, organizers and officers are people with noble and humble hearts.

I hope this thing gets to Sen. Tito Sotto who did nothing but belittle bloggers.

These Filipino bloggers don’t just write things. They don’t just share raunchy stories. They don’t just rant. They don’t just post their random thoughts. Behind these blogs are minds that are broad and intelligent and hearts that are pure and humble. Bloggers are not internet beings. Tao din sila. Mga tunay na Pilipino- sa isip, sa salita, at sa gawa.

Mabuhay ang mga blogerong Pilipino!