Monday, December 30, 2013

Ang 13 Bagay na Napagtripan Ngayong Taon

13 of 2013

1.      I read 25 books this year, failing to reach my 30 books goal.


2.      I achieved the “Gate-Crasher for Excellence Award” for barging in to social events without official invitation, and was able to brush my shoulders with politicians, journalists, socialites, and many other blood-sucking creatures. Halata naman na epal ako dun kasi I have the stench of not being rich. Hahaha!
3.      Got the chance to meet Korean actress Jeon Do-Yeon during the Korean Film Festival of Florence noong March.


4.      Ikinasal ang ex ko, special guest ako, butt of all joke. Pero carry on lang. No worries, no tears.


5.      Sineryoso ko ang senatorial elections dito noon May. I did some sort of campaign for the candidates I voted for.

6.      I enjoyed the Iskwater-Gonzalez Word Wars, and stood in favour of Senyor. But all of a sudden BFF's na? Anyare?


7.      It was a loveless summer na kung saan nag-enjoy ako sa pag-town-hopping sa Tuscany at road trips.
8.      I celebrated my 10 years of MU (Mag-isang umiibig).
9.       My first short story in Italian was published and featured in the anthology “Tracce”. Despite the grammatical errors and lack of style, I now have the guts to claim the title “writer”. Hehehehe….


10.  Na promote nako from Aliping Sagigilid to Superior Aliping Sagigilid/Master Sadista. Well, I’m still waiting for the confirmation sa January, so next month pa malalaman kung ok na.


11.  Nakauwi na rin ako sa Pilipinas finally after 13 years!
12.  Nakasama ko si Alice Dixson sa isang Carlos Celdran tour sa Intramuros, and now I have the biggest crush on her, at iniwan ko na si Nicole Kidman.
13.  Nag trip ako sa Milan and had the two-day vacation of the year.


2014, don’t f*ck with me. I’m coming.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

All I Want for Christmas 2013

May bagong trip sa blogosphere- yung i-tag ka para banggitin ang anim na bagay na gusto mong ma-receive sa Pasko at kapag hindi mo gawin eh isusumpa nila ang sex-life mo.

Si Senyor Iskwater special pa yung pag tag sakin. Hindi ko naman masyado pinansin yung sumpa against sex-life. Kaso I was tagged also by Simon.

I don’t want to believe in that curse against sex life. Pasumpa sumpa pa eh wala nga sex life eh! Birhen na birhen pa po ako. Hahaha! But anyway, for the sake of blogging fun, I’ll do this wishlist. At dahil sa naniniwala ako sa “What you sow is what you reap”, I am dispelling the curse of 7 years of bad sex-life, instead I want to give a blessing…

I SOLEMNLY BLESS BY ALL THINGS HOLY THE SEX LIFE OF THE BLOGGER WHO WILL KEEP THE CHAIN ALIVE UNTIL CHRISTMAS, AND HE/SHE WILL F**K/MAKE LOVE/DO SOME WHORE-F***ING LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW WITH HIS/HER LOVED ONE.

Ok ba? Kung ayaw eh di hindi nako mambabasag trip…. Hindi naman ako ang nawalan.



Here are the rules.

  1. Make a post entitled, “All I Want for Christmas 2013” and please use the photo above.
  2. List 6 things you want to receive as a gift.
  3. Tag 3 friends who will make the same post. (no tag backs)
  4. Send me the link so I could check it up too. (optional)


So here’s my list:

Wish #1- I would like to have a Montblanc Pen. I am still old school when it comes to writing. Nawala na rin yung ibang fountain pen ko at halos sira na yung favourite kong Aurora. It’s time to replace it with a new one.

Here's the Catherine the Great Edition:


And here's the Carlo Collodi Edition:



Wish #2- Moleskine Notebook. Syempre anong silbi ng fountain pen kung walang notebook. Malapit ko na mapuno yung isa. And yes, I’ll keep it as a journal too. Sissy? I know. But I love scribbling too much.



Wish #3- Any drug that could calm my nerves when I’m reading the papers or watching the news. Lately punong puno ng shit ang nakikita ko tulad ng mga P*****INANG BINAY FAMILY at ang MALEDETTO STR*NZ* DI BERLUSCONI. Special mention- HAYOP TALAGA KAYO JANET NAPOLES, ENRILE, ESTRADA, MARCOS, REVILLA, HONASAN!



Wish #4- Kung walang mag-abot sa akin ng gamot eh wishful thinking na lang yung mamatay ang mga isinulat ko sa itaas ng walang dignidad at walang kagitingan, at nawa  maisama nila si Noynoy sa libing ng buhay kasama si Soliman at Lacierda.

from inquirer.net


Wish #5- One week vacation sa Paris. I would like to try the escargot, practise my French, and find love in the City of Lights.

welcomerentals.com


Wish #6- A one-week session with a sex therapist, or a sex teacher, or a libertine- I need someone to teach me how to have sex. Virginity is getting quite boring lately. Hahahaha! Epekto nga naman ng mga horny games sa party. LOL! And just to make sure that the curse wouldn’t get me.




Few days left before Christmas…

I’m tagging…


  1. Ms. Balut of Balut Manila- because it’s been a long time since I heard from you
  2. June of Life and Spices- make a death-threat wish against your enemies. Hahaha! Joke! Peace negotiations list maybe…  
  3. Kamilkshake of Do More of What Makes You Happy para maiba naman ang hangin.

Happy holidays!

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Making the Yuletide Horny

Wala nang mas gagaling pa sa mga Pilipino sa pag-organize ng Christmas parties. This week, sunud-sunod na ang mga parties ng iba’t-ibang workplaces, companies at organizations.

Ang typical Italian party ay may mga wines, champagnes, a hundred varieties of finger foods and sweets, some music and dancing. Dito sa trabaho namin, we have a particular reputation when it comes to partying. Imagine the typical Italian Christmas party, with a touch of pinoyness- wines and champagnes are accompanied by cases of beers and a multitude of bottles of hard liquor. There are a THOUSAND varieties of finger foods, kanin at apat na putaheng ulam. Hindi lang sayawan at music, MAY KARAOKE DIN! Open mic all through the night.

And the crowning glory of this event ay ang tinatawag kong The Horny Games. Ever since I was anointed as the master of ceremonies for the past four years, I always find myself in the most awkward situations. Bakit? Hindi mawala sa event namin ang Horny Games- mga palarong may sexual content na siguradong magpapalibog sa lahat.

from Marloes Horst lingerie


Unang-una, ayoko talaga ng mga ganitong klaseng games kahit ako ang MC. Pero wala akong magagawa, yung mga superiors ko ang madalas nagpapalaro. I think that’s one way of power-tripping- putting these poor souls sa mga awkwards situations. But anyway, bilang host ng party hindi ako napapasama sa mga games, which is a relief for me.

Nung first time nag party, puro nahihiya pa kaya yung pinakamatapang na superior namin inuutusan lahat ng mga mga employee na sumali sa games, kasama ang thundering shouts and threats of hell and fire and raining brimstones. Pero ngayon, hindi na kailangan pilitin, sila na ang may initiative. Horniness to the highest level.

Kaya at the end of the party we speculate kung sino ang mag maternity leave after a month, sinong magiging bagong couple, sino ang naka one-night stand, at sino ang mag break-up dahil sa mga alcohol-backed declarations of hidden frustrations and sentiments.

This year, kahit hindi ko gusto, eh ako ang binigyan ng responsibilidad na mag organize at mag invent ng mga palaro. For this year, wholesome at may konting naughty games din. So humanda na ang lahat at narito na ang mga whipped creams, mga talong, bananas, at kung anu-ano pa!


Have a wonderful horny Christmas party!!!!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Ang Nakaraan....

Isa sa mga bagay na ayokong bangitin sa blog ay ang ‘hiatus’. It is always one step towards total apathy and abandonment ng mga blogs. Kaya narito ako upang ipakita sa mga kapwa ko bloggers na hindi ako magdedeklara ng hiatus.

Ever since I got the promotion sa trabaho eh sinipsip na lahat ang vital forces ko para sa blogging at para sa aking writing projects. Binubuhos ko lahat ng aking energy at attention sa aking p*****inang trabaho na iyan dahil mahigpit ang pangangailangan ko ng pera. Unlike manwhores, I can’t make money in my sleep, and unlike man-whores, nagpapagamit ako sa iba and never in a good way. Hahahaha!

Yung last entry ko pa ay yung tungkol sa pagbabalik ko sa Pilipinas. Marami pa sanang susunod kaso medyo outdated na at ang Christmas holidays ay narito na. Hindi na rin ako makapag komento sa mga pangyayari sa bansa, sa mga p*****inang pulitiko natin, at kung anu-ano pa.

Hindi naman talaga ako busy. Hindi lang talaga ako masyado organized sa paggamit ng panahon at oras. Tulad ngayon, kailangan ko na maghanda para sa Christmas party sa trabaho eh nanood pa ako ng documentaries sa internet, gumala na naman sa labas kasama yung iba kong mga katrabaho, nagmuni-muni tungkol sa buhay ko, nag concert sa aking kwarto, at kung anu-ano pa.

Na miss ko din ang magbasa ng ibang blogs. Kumusta na rin kaya ang iba?

Sige na, sa susunod na kabanata na lang!!!! Ciao!