Saturday, February 15, 2014

The Devil's Sister Wears Prada

The Devil’s sister wears Prada too. She doesn’t run a fashion magazine but she’s the director of a fashion company in Florence. And I worked for the Incarnate Bitch, just for two days.

Oo, two days lang dahil hindi ko natiis ang katapangan niya.

There was a vacant job position in their purchasing department. Nag apply ako for the job kahit wala akong working background sa fashion industry (at walang fashion sense din) o ang magtrabaho sa isang corporate company.



I met the Dragon Lady. Imagine Angelina Jolie at 50. That’s how she really looks like. She looks exactly like Angelina, and it was really freaky talking to her. I couldn’t keep my eyes away from her swollen red pouty lips. And take note, natural talaga ang mga lips na ‘yon. Italian women usually have their lips done, and but she’s an exception.

I think she was desperate because from the very beginning she thought that I don’t fit for the job. I didn’t even try to persuade her. Okay naman sakin noon na hindi nako tanggapin pero she took me in anyway. One week daw ang aking probation period.

The first day was like hell. My first job was to translate their clients’ emails from English to Italian. The worst emails were the ones that came from Chinese clients. Bukod sa barok yung English, kailangan mo pa rin ayusin ang word order para makuha mo ang context. It was like in my school days when we were studying Latin, wala ka na maintindihan, kapag na translate pa, wala pa rin sense. Duguan talaga ang utak ko, yun pa lang ang ginagawa ko.

Madami din mga terminologies akong natutunan, so now I know better on how to look at the details of fabrics and designs, and other stuff. Pero bulok pa rin ang trabaho ko.

Ang hirap din mag forward ng mga calls. People from Cavalli, Gucci, Prada, Versace, Bottega Veneta- the whole gang’s calling this company to buy or sell some stuff. And the thing is, all of these glamazons are so impatient. Maiinit lagi ang mga ulo nila. It’s as if they’re constantly having their menstruation- whether the person has a vagina or penis.

One time I almost confirmed a € 100,000.00 order from another company, because I couldn’t understand what he was mouthing. And I wasn’t supposed to entertain that call. The girl in the other desk almost cried out for a pound of my flesh and if she had her way, she could’ve hanged me for such a big mistake.  

All that happened on the first day.

Second day came. Dumating ako sa opisina on time, and I was surprised to see that all the others were already there staring at their computer. 7 AM pa lang nagtatrabaho na sila doon. Da heck! Tulog pa ako ng ganong oras.

Later on I heard a booming loud voice mula sa opisina ni Angelina Jolie. She was so pissed off about something and she was yelling at one of the employees. I thought I was going to faint. It was really scary, I almost pissed in my pants. I went straight to the bathroom.

 Sobra ang pressure sa office na ‘yon. Ako pa man din yung tipo ng tao na gusto lahat easy-going at smooth (unless ako ang superior, I want to make everybody else’s life like hell). She gave me an assignment. Maghanap daw ako ng mga factories na gumagawa ng mga styrofoams. I asked her what type of styrofoams. She looked at we with the fiercest eyes, I thought she was going to struck me down with lightning. She was Maleficent. I crawled back to my hole without waiting from any response to my question and googled down all the factories that produce Styrofoam in Florence. Hindi pala ganong kadali yon dahil may mga sukat at kung anu-anong chuvaness. She wanted to report in the afternoon and place the orders.

Sa tingin ko lumabas din ang dugo ko sa mga sweat glands ko sa takot. After lunch I gave her the list of the factories, yung pinili ko na factory at yung inorder ko. Wala akong idea kung ano ang mga inorder ko. Nagtaas na ng boses si Maleficent, I thought I was going to die. I though lalamunin niya ako ng buhay! She sent me back to my desk.  

Hindi ko na talaga kinaya, so I told Maleficent that I’m quitting. She told me that she’s sorry but I don’t fit in the job. I told her it’s ok, I was just curious.

I literally ran out of the building that afternoon. I looked at the sky and the sun, and the world seemed so beautiful and safe. I felt alive again.

Those were the most intense two days of my life. I’m never going back to Maleficent’s lair ever again!


Every now and then nakikita ko siya. Believe it or not, I still shudder at the sight of her. She messed up with my mind big time. I get goosebumps while writing this.  

14 comments:

  1. working with the monster boss

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    1. I left Maleficent to work for The Lesser Evil. hahaha!

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  2. Sounds like a perfect job for me ....where do i apply ? hahahhaha

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    1. Sayong sayo na! Go to Osmannoro, Florence, Italy.

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  3. heheh it wouldve been a cool challenge to last a month with her :p

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    1. Believe it or not, I was the one who last longer. Two days. Hahaha!

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  4. Whoa!!!! May kapatid pala si Streeep! At eto pala ang feeling maging sister ni Hathaway.. Haha... That was quite an experience :l

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  5. Valid naman question mo kung anong type ng styrofoam. I guess hindi rin alam ni Angelina Jollie kung ano-anong type ng styrofoam meron hahaha

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    1. It was not valid for the Dragon lady. She expects you to read her unfathomable insidious mind and do the research because she simply got too much in her hands.

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  6. I once worked in a school and my boss was so moody, smiling and then angry the next but I learned what to do. When I was introduced to a new teacher, she told the applicant, "and this is Jonathan, the only one in school most difficult to find." That's how I survived. }

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    1. Alam mo, i think she's that kind of person kapag nagustuhan ka niya. She liked my friend kasi smart daw. The Dragon Lady always sings her praises. Pareho kasi ang wave length nila. AKo? no way. I really don't want to be within her perimeter!

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  7. Imagine that. Nakakatuwa naman kahit alam kong indi good experience yun. I wonder ho long a people/employees can survived there.

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  8. Hindi ako makarelate sa latest post mo kaya dito nalang ako magcocoment. Haha.

    Baka kung ganyan boss ko, 'di na ako bumalik after 1st day pa lang.

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Sige, sakayan niyo ang trip ko....