Thursday, December 11, 2014

The Secret in a Hot Pink Suit

There are gays in the government, in the legislative chambers, and even in the Philippine diplomatic bodies. They’ve got trophy wives, brilliant children studying in UP or La Salle or Ateneo, friends in the military and friends who are big-time in jail. But they are all hiding in the closet, and perhaps fucking their gardener, just like *beep*. 

During the last years of that midget of a president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, a new member of the Philippine diplomatic body was sent to Italy to represent our country and help the Filipino community here in Europe.

Let’s call him Mr. Pink Suit. He was given a very lucrative diplomatic post because he wasn’t only involved in diplomatic missions of the Philippine Embassy in Rome, he’s also appointed to represent Philippines to, I think, three or four other European countries and the World Food Organization

An exclusive welcome party was organized in the villa of an ambitious Italian diplomat, and sure enough, the atrocious-looking local politicians were there- from the influential patriarch of a mafia-partnered family to the epals who head various community organizations. Of course, I was there, being a genuine epal myself and the official gate-crasher (the perks having a friend in political circles, I am always welcomed somewhere even though I’m the uninvited).


Mr. Pink Suit was there. He wasn’t wearing pink. Just like any other government official, he’s wearing one those drab-coloured functional suits politicians always wear. But he was very neat and his shoes were too fabulous to be straight.

During the party, social-climbers and local potentates were gossiping feverishly because of a certain detail that was really bugging the bigots, both rich and poor- Mr. PS was a bachelor at 50.

And we all know that this fact will constitute to an unfolding theory that Mr. PS is probably gay. It’s always like that. The unmarried guy at 50 is always alleged to be gay.

That evening, when all the bigots returned to their homes, the word was out- that there’s a brilliant diplomat BUT he’s gay. That’s the thing about describing power-players in the Philippines who happen to be gay or presumed to be gay- a deprecating conjunction that would render the previous venerating phrase absolutely and cleverly imperfect.

Despite what the community said about his alleged sexuality, Mr. PS performed splendidly, like no other Philippine ambassador nor any other DFA functionary did for this godforsaken community, except for one former labor attaché. Brilliance, efficiency, and charisma- these were the words that best describe his diplomatic work here in Italy.

I asked my friend Ms. Blue Bird if it’s true, if Mr. PS is gay. She couldn’t confirm it. There were mixed signals. And besides, her gaydar wasn’t functioning that perfectly.

Unfortunately, Mr. Pink Suit left the diplomatic mission to Italy and was recalled back to the Philippines. His flaw as a government official was not his alleged sexuality. I mean, it doesn’t really matter who he is sleeping with, as long as he can do his job efficiently. The problem with Mr. Pink Suit was an Arroyo midnight appointee.

Now we have new diplomats and a new ambassador. And we’re all back again to the same old lacklustre political business, with the most atrocious looking community leaders. Well, there’s not hope for that. They’re straight. 

1 comment:

  1. Mahina akiz sa mga blind items. Teka, try ko nga 'yang i-search kay google.


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