This is a true story of a wandering soul who came across my path. Her name is Cassandra. She is trapped in that big boy’s body, like a virgin inside an iron maiden, tortured for being a witch, tormented for being misunderstood.
She is tortured by being a boy. But she is a boy. As God has decreed it in the heavens and on earth, she was born to be a son of Adam- with a penis and a flesh that was meant to be hairy, smelly, deprived of any grace or feminine fragrance.
The sons of Adam were ordained to be protectors, great providers, and stewards of all creation- the trees and the beasts of the earth, the winged creatures of the air, and the creatures of the rivers and the deep seas. They were the children who were born to feel entitled to dominate and to shape history and future of everything under the sun. To be otherwise and to abdicate from such divine prerogative is, if not shameful, the most abominable action a man can commit.
The worst of all is to feel attracted to his kind. The sons of Adam were expected to be with the daughters of Eve. In the past, when sanctity ruled in the most ruthless and bloody manner, any man who deviates from what was sanctioned by the heavens will face shame and death because abandoning what was meant for you was a great sin.
Fast forward to thousands of years later, the time when we are living under grace, enlightenment and science. It feels like we’re still living in the ancient days.
Now, as men progresses towards the age of possibilities and tolerance and cultural evolution, the preachers and ministers are enraged, and they rant and rave, calling doctors as charlatans, calling medical experts are servants of the underworld.
Cassandra couldn’t go on living a life of lies, pretending to be somebody else. She embraced human progress, and renounced the truth that established the world. She will go under the knife. Penniless as she is, she is undaunted to embark on this journey to womanhood, a journey with a new experimental medical procedure and without any payment.
I admire her courage. And I admire her unbending will to decide to live true to herself. I told her the complications of hormones. Even natural women are wrecked by their own hormones, making them complex. “But if that means finding happiness, then why not?”, she said. And soon she will be resurrected, in a new body that will never be glorified by any believer.
I’m not really envious. I am happy with this lard-like body and my penis. I am happy with myself. But I ask the heavens, why would God demand us to walk in truth and condemn us to eternal flames by being ourselves, but welcome us at the pearly gates of paradise if we live a false life, pretending to love women, and hate our kind? What is holy about that?