Sunday, June 14, 2015

The Curse of the Wedding Singer

Three down, three more weddings to go. At kung meron pang isa pang hahabol, Apat na siguro ang mga weddings na kung saan kukuhanin na naman akong host at pakakantahin.

Hindi naman talaga ako magaling na host at hindi rin ako isang tunay na singer. Medyo makapal lang ang mukha ko at mahilig ako kumanta. The two reasons why they keep on signing me up as host or singer for these events are:

  1. I am the relative who has no money to buy them a wedding present, so that means, the least I can do is to be part of the wedding party program. A sacrifice or a special gift for them.
  2. I am free, as in, I don’t ask money to do this tedious job.

But it’s ok din naman. For a moment I can become the singing sensation I’ve always dreamed to be. Kahit pa ako pumiyok sa gitna ng isang number, they won’t complain. They’re not spending a cent for an adequate performance.

So here I am, always the star of the reception but never the star of the wedding ceremony.

This June is my sister’s wedding. On September is my other “ex’s” wedding. And who knows, another cousin might get married. And then there’s next year, my colleague’s wedding. I am either a host or the singer, or even both.

I admit, I kind of like the attention, but I would prefer to have the attention as the one who is getting married. But when will that happen?

A friend of mine said that I am too busy working that I will never meet anybody. My girl best friend told me that we should go to strip club to “widen my horizons”.

That’s the problem with me- I love solace and solitude. I love to be inside the house more than going out. To go out actually is such a lot of effort for me, unless it’s necessary. And I really don’t like making lots of friends. I usually choose carefully and gradually the people that I meet. It’s quite natural for me. Hey, I am a nerd and a homeboy.

If I want to meet somebody, I prefer to meet him or her only. I really don’t like meeting strangers in groups. That’s why during my last trip to the Philippines, I carefully chose the people I want to meet.

I only show myself in public in events like this- show off my mediocre talent in singing and parade my average looking face and flabby physique. And that’s when it occurred to me that this is perhaps the “curse of the wedding singer”. I just made it up of course. People tend to make things up on their own when they’re under pressure, worried about their future, or perplexed.

I am worried that I will be forever the host and never the groom. I am worried that I will be forever the star on the stage and never the star who is going to walk down the aisle towards the man of his dreams. I may seem to be downplaying all of the comments of those people around me about being single but I am troubled. But how will I find the man of my dreams if I am living amidst a community of conservative Christians?

You know how conservative it is? On my sister’s wedding day, there will be ministers from all over Italy and Europe, bishops and other holy men, and everybody in our church denomination. And she’s marrying a preacher’s son.

I might destroy this curse by announcing in front of this holy crowd that I am not gay but I like to suck cocks and I like taking it up in the ass. Of course, I wouldn’t do that. I’ll do it later on.

But I still believe in the power of true love’s kiss that will definitely destroy this curse. The power of true love, as preached by Disney cartoon classics. Where art thou man of my dreams? 


  1. I remember this and read from somewhere.

    Auntie: O kailan ka naman ikakasal, lahat na yata ng kapatid mo may asawa na.
    Boy: Oo nga po, si mama namatay na, eh kayo po, kailan naman kayo susunod?

    End of discussion.

    May para sa iyo. Bata ka pa naman, pero parang dalawang beses kang mag birthday sa isang taon, lol! Ikaw na na nasa Italya, marami diyan so lumabas ka naman at show them your beauty!

  2. Masyado busy eh. Ang dami na nga suggestion nung kaibigan ko. Parang bugaw na nga....

  3. so.. pwede ka bang maging host/singer sa kasal ko? Naghahanap kasi ng mura lang ang talent fee.. yun pala merong ikaw na libre.. (joke)

    Makakahanap ka rin ng taong para sayo... wag ka lang masyado mainip.. tapos try mo lang maging mas friendly pa... hehe.. malay mo dun sa mga ayaw mo i-friend andun pala yung soulmate mo.. (just saying napadaan lang po pasensya na)


Sige, sakayan niyo ang trip ko....