A Suitable Marriage
This is about the pursuit of my family to marry me off to some unfortunate girl. Of course, I am writing under the influence of my new obsession-Downton Abbey.
I have told you in a previous entry that I am, above all, the prime bearer of the family’s name who will continue the legacy of my mother’s and father’s families. In fact, my documents identify me with two family names (I dread the times that I have to fit four names in the columns when I am filling up forms).
Curious enough, my parents never bothered me with questions about when do I plan to get married, or if I am dating some fancy girl, or if I have any love-life at all. But I am perpetually pestered by uncles and aunts, and family friends, and members of our religious community, as if my personal life should be everybody’s concern.
It’s easy to dismiss inquiries and I am not bothered by it, but when they start forwarding phone numbers, setting me up with a girl, inviting me over for dinner or parties just to meet a particular girl, those are the times that my holy patience is being tested. I try to be nice enough to accept invitations and properly give hints that there’s no future at all for their attempts of marrying me off to some girl.
I look at myself in the mirror and ask why. I am not that handsome or rich. I do not consider myself to be professionally successful. Why all of a sudden I am being treated as one of the most sought after bachelor?
It’s probably because in the community of our religious persuasion singlehood is a sign of spiritual and social failure. They don’t want to admit that so they steel up their hypocrisy by claiming blessed singleness, but you know and feel that they look down on you. (And this is where I lose all my gracious manners) FUCK YOUR HOLY SHITS IF YOU THINK I’M A LOSER.
MARRIED, SO WAS JESUS, BUT NONE OF YOU ASSHOLES CLAIMED THAT THEY WERE WANKERS
LIKE ME, YOU STUPID ST. PAUL SONS OF BITCHES.
Back to regular programming.
I am supposed to be single, for now. I make no efforts at all to find a partner. I am still concerned with what would people say or think (at least the members of our holy community). And above all, what would happen to my family and my relationship with my family if I tell them “Mama, Papa, Sis, Lolas, uncles, and aunts, meet Mr. Right, I suck his cock every night and I truly love him”. They will definitely tear their clothes and put on rags, fall prostrate on the ground, put ashes on their heads, fast like demented prophets, as they cry out to God for forgiveness.
It could happen you know. I mean, I once made fun of Pacquiao and the church sent me a letter the following day telling me that I am suspended from my ministerial post. And my mother was mad and delirious.
I’ve heard the disgusted remarks of many of my cousins, so I guess I won’t be relying on their support. Not even my other best friend. He is convinced that I could change and that he is going to set me up on a date with some girl in
Recently, my sister has announced that she is finally pregnant. And the pressure on me to get married became even more oppressive. They were already offering me ugly girls. It doesn’t matter how they look. What matters is that I am set in an approved match and a suitable marriage. And it is really tiring.
What would be a suitable marriage for me?
In their opinion, I must marry a girl of our same faith, friend of the family, financially stable and be willing to become one of the Lord’s faithful servants.
And I spit on that.
I need to find a guy who is not necessarily rich but has the financial means to marry me in another European country where same-sex marriage is legal (we’re still waiting for it to be legalized here) and would accept me, an estranged individual who has no wealth, nor rank, nor family. As much as I fancy carrying on the family’s name, I would be forced to drop it and take the name of my future husband, and give my husband’s name to my children. But he must be willing to embrace the values and principles of my spiritual inclination. And he shouldn’t be a Muslim. Arab men are hot. But no. He must be a Christian too. But if he’s Arab and a member of the Orthodox Church, I can consider that.
But for now, I have myself. I am not unhappy. I have considered someone as my possible match, but nothing is official and sure for now.
Maybe I’m just being stupid and choosy? Maybe I have considered too many practical aspects?
Anyway, a suitable marriage is never easy to find or devise. That’s why I do not trust other people’s offers sometimes. It’s shitload full to the brim.