In this episode I had the pleasure to enjoy some Turkish delight.
Not that. I mean this Turkish delight.
|Theo James as Mr. Kemal Pamuk|
Evelyn Napier, one of the many fascinating suitors of the Lady Mary, visited Downton Abbey with his handsome friend, a Turkish envoy, Mr. Kemal Pamuk (played by Theo James), for a hunting party.
Of course, such male beauty would delight all female species of the household, including gay footman Thomas Barrow, who was assigned to be the diplomat’s valet. And he thought he was the luckiest bitch in the planet. In fact, I’d be glad to become a valet if I were to service such eye candy. Imagine, everyday dressing up such male beauty- dawn and dusk. The only downside of such profession would be having a sore boner all throughout the day for the rest of your life.
Moving on. That evening, while Mr. Pamuk was being dressed up for dinner, Barrow made advances to the foreigner but was abruptly rejected, telling the poor bitch that he likes vajayjays. Poor bitch. He insinuated that he could report his questionable behaviour, unless he helps him get to Lady Mary’s bed that night. And the poor bitch complied. That was understandable. At the time, homosexuality is a crime.
After dinner, at the drawing room (I love the concept of drawing rooms, ahahaha), Mary was being flirted by three men. Now that’s one lucky bitch. Of course, she preferred the company of the fairest of them all, Mr. Pamuk.
That night, with the help of Gay Barrow, Pamuk went to Mary’s room. Of course, the honourable maiden was shocked. And I think she was genuinely shocked. The idea of a man inside a lady’s room was quite a shocker at the time. It is for me, believe it or not. On a certain level and on certain issues, I am quite conservative and old-fashioned.
Lady Mary played hard to get of course. But not that hard, because eventually Mr. Pamuk, who was hard at that time, got on top of her. I don’t know exactly what transpired inside the lady’s chamber, but Mr. Pamuk died right after deflowering the hard-to-get lady. And I thought, is it really that deadly to have sex with a virgin? If that’s so, who will be the first guy to die in my arms on the night I lose it? hahaha!
With the help of her most trusted maid, Anna, and her mother, Lady Cora, they managed to carry the dead Turkish back to his room. But that wasn’t the end of Lady Mary’s tribulation. Lady Cora was furious and unforgiving, because she knew the magnitude of the damage that was done to the
Crawley family. It’s
interesting how people think in the early 1900’s and early 2000- when a guy
gets laid, even in his deathbed, he is legend, but when a girl loses her
virginity, she’s a bitch. But then, most of the time, girls who are that easy
are generally bitches to the core.
So the three of them swore that they will keep it a secret. Unfortunately for them, the kitchen maid Daisy, partly saw them at dawn. What would Daisy do? What would happen to Lady Mary now?
Anyway, the lady is already damaged goods. And if society found out what happened, they are ruined. This incident has changed Mary’s life. But there’s a light in all of this gloominess- dearest cousin Matthew Crawley is starting to get interested in Mary. Kilig much!