Thursday, January 28, 2016

The Queenly Queer Queries- The Book Inquisition

A beki bookworm should be able to give a good opinion about a book he has read. Now, to judge a book- it’s high time that I should establish my own criteria on judging novels and books because some of the reviews and grades I made in the past were so inconsistent, it seemed like I was having my man-period or something.

I am no intellectual. I always judge a book by its cover, and if I fancy the cover I’d buy it. I have accumulated lots and lots and lots of books by now that I have to put a moratorium on book-buying and force myself to spend my money and shitty ill-fitting clothes and shoes and other stuff.

Now back to judging a book. Of course, the cover is not the only criterion. I have thought about the criteria for judging a book. So here are the guidelines I have established to judge a book. I call it the 3Q’s- The Queenly (because I am a queen, in a every sense of the word) Queer (I am and so is this questionnaire, in every sense of the word) Queries (because ‘questions’ is a too common of a word).

  1. How was the cover? (1 point)

Yes, I know. I am superficial I judge books primarily on the cover because. But hey, one must appreciate also the efforts of the artist who clothed the written word.

  1. Can the book cause a lot of controversy? Or if the book is controversial or has an outrageous claim to something or really popular, did it live up to your expectations? (2 points)

My kind of book is the one that lives up to its reputation, or the one that can establish a particular reputation, and if such reputation will meet the reader’s expectation.

  1. Did it compel you to do something you’ve never done before? (1 point)

I remember one time reading a novel by a Japanese author. It was so good that I started going to this ramen house because the characters in the book were always eating ramen. A good book will change your habit or can compel you to do things.

  1. Was the plot development refreshing and more than the usual shit you read or has it became your reality? (2 points)

A book should be so original and unique that when you read it, you are so immersed in it, it becomes your reality.

  1. Were the characters of the story similar to your favourite imaginary friends, or did they get along well with the creature under your bed, or have they become the friends/lovers/sex-slaves you’ve always wanted in your delusional world? (1 point)

  1. Has it changed your way of thinking? Have you become a better person or remained the same asshole in the neighbourhood? (1 point)

A good book must make you smarter, a better person in the community or at least stimulate your brain to function more than the usual, so as to be above among the brain-dead community of yours. 

  1.  Tonight. Sex or this book? (2 points)

A book is definitely good when you ignore a booty call, or turn down the invitation of some hot guy/girl to have some boom-boom-pow action tonight.

Optional question: Who do you think should read this book?

And as a Beki-Bookworm Queen, I decree that every book that will be read in my realm will be measured by the 3Q’s.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Divine Works- La Divina Bellezza Exhibit

I went to the Divina Bellezza Exhibit, Divine Beauty, an art exhibit that features religious art works by various artists including Chagall, Van Gogh, and Fontana. And I am just jotting down these names to sound smarter and be able to rub shoulders with assholic intellectuals in town. I survived social climbing with politicians and famous designers at parties, and so I managed well in this exhibit.

Anyway, I would like to share with you guys the paintings and sculptures I liked the most in the exhibit and my not-so-intellectual observation.

The exhibit was housed in the medieval palace, Palazzo Strozzi

This is 'The Savior', a painting by Giuseppe Catani Chiti. I'm supposed to say some shit about purism in art, the nervous spirituality, and pre-Raphaelite elements and symbolism. But no. I was simply drawn to this painting by the male nudity and that white and smooth flesh, so erotic and sensual. I couldn't believe I was fantasizing about Christ. BDSM has never been this perverted. 

I took the picture of this angel in another painting. I was really impressed by the details- the flying robes and its folds, and the gilded halos. Very exquisite.

This is Gustave Moreau's painting of St. Sebastian. Now I'm not sure if this painter is trying to fuck my brain, but this is simply too sensual to be considered religious art. Or maybe I'm just being too archaic and medieval. Observe the slender body, skin and flesh so white and so exposed, but slightly turned, and his tunic covering almost nothing but that which is meant to be used for procreation and not for pleasure. And yes, Brazilian wax, ladies and bekimen. Brazilian wax.

I like this artwork by Adolfo Wildt (1918). This is 'Mary Gives Birth to Christian Infants'. Since Mary gave birth to the Christ, through her, many people were reborn. Which is funny because man is only reborn, only through Christ. anyway, it's truly a beautiful piece of art.

Sculpture by Libero Andreotti, Madonna with Child. I think it is really dramatic with tender and touching gestures of the figures.

Here's of my favorites. The Annunciation. I apologize for the bad angle. It portrays the Virgin Mary, clad in white robes symbolizing her purity, with a ponderous expression in her face. From afar, the angel Gabriel was approaching her, about to announce "Hey gurl, may bebs ka down there with being jerjered by fafa Joseph". Forgot the name of the artist.

This painting is the Prodigal Son, as you can see, the artist (forgot who) portrayed here the lowest moment of his life, when he's already sharing his days with swines, as he is sitting beside a swine, looking at the beast while it is eating, as if he were having conversation with it. He is portrayed as wearing only a cloak and a tunic, showing his state of disgrace.

This is "The Raising of Lazarus" by Pietro Annigoni (1946). It was painted after the death of his brother. What really caught my attention is the melancholic and hazy color of the sky and the environment. And also those shrubs and plants sprouting forth from the rocks, as Jesus calls out Lazarus from the grave. Indeed in the gospels, this is one of the few instances that the Bible showed Jesus weeping.

The apostles by Felice Carena. Wala lang. Nakaka relax tingnan sila habang natutulog. hehehe!

"Jesus Crowned with Thorns" by Gaetano Previati. Jesus here seems to be shell-shocked, and his persecutors are like waning shadows. 

This is one of the masterpieces of Chagall. I am featuring this because Chagall is known worldwide, and just to be able to boast that I have seen in person the work of a master of art... even though I don't fucking understand anything about modern art. Pffff! Meh!

Curcifixion by Carlo Conti. I like this one too. Hindi masyado kita sa photo but this is one of the few paintings that indicated the eclipse that happened in during Christ's suffering at the cross. Quite striking is the red color of the woman's clothing at feet of the cross, and that is Magdalene wearing the color of the adultress, even the sorrowful expression of Mary.

This is Van Gogh's painting, The Pietà (after Delacroix). He painted this months before his suicide, giving Christ red hair and short beard like him. And yes, this is another attempt to show the world that I have regarded in person a masterpiece, nothing more, nothing less.

Here's one of my personal favorites. 'The Angelus' by Jean-Francios Millet. The picture is very solemn and poignant, showing the God-made landscape and the toil of man, but all seemed to pause and contemplate the Lord's grace and glory as the bell tolls from afar calling everyone to pray.

It was quite a long time since I've been to an art exhibit. I think people should go out and see art and great masterpieces. It's good that we feed the body, but every now and then, we must also feed the soul and regard art and beauty. 

Pakshet! Imelda lang ang peg!

Friday, January 22, 2016

Devil's Work

Here’s my theory. When stupidity rules over the minds of people, ideas and things that are hard to understand are often perceived as works of the devil.

Galileo Galilee was excommunicated because of his theories. The Large Hadron Collider in the CERN has been demonized by many. Gay marriage has been preached as a threat and social plague. Female leadership was considered the end of civilization. Our bishop in Rome suspended me because many ministers could not fathom my humor, saying that it was unbecoming of a respected (?) deacon and ungodly.

And just to give you another example to emphasize my point, here’s a remarkable work of man that has been branded as work of the devil.

The Devil’s Bridge of Borgo a Mozzano, province of Lucca, also known as Ponte della Maddalena is a masterpiece of medieval engineering, commissioned by Countess Matilda of Tuscany circa 1080-1100. After almost a thousand years, people call it the Devil’s bridge, simply because the techniques employed during its construction was quite advance during the time. So instead of learning more of the innovation in building, people simply passed on the legend.

That's me on the top. Miraculously, the bridge didn't collapse, LOL!

It was said that the master builder wasn’t able to finish the bridge on time. That night he asked the Devil for help. The Evil One promised that he would build a strong bridge over night in exchange of his soul. The master builder agreed and to his surprise, the devil raised an impressive and mighty bridge. The following day the builder felt so guilty that he confessed his sin to a priest. The priest suggested him to make a pig cross the bridge first, and so the devil took the pig’s soul instead of the builder’s.

And why is it that in every story the pig is used as the alternative for human soul? 

And come to think of it, we never demonized these squabbling pigs....

or this absentee messiah in congress...

or this....

Anyway, this is supposed to be an entry about by Tuscan escapades, and  I still ended it about politics. Well, what else can you expect?

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Pahabol na nominee for the Versatile Blog Award...

By the power vested upon me by the Faith, I, T.G. Bagyo, Prince of House Stormborn, Son of the Khaleesi Daenerys Stormborn Targaryen, first of my name, Vassal Lord and Imperial Viceroy of the Zafranian Universal Potentate, Supreme Sovereign Ruler of the Principality of Ballenas y Butanding, King of the Ampalayas, Lord Paramount Archdeacon and True Warden of the Faith, Master of the One Black Ring, Dauphin of Angmar, Prime Elector of the Most Honourable House of Stewards of Windlands, the Honourable Master of the Sovereign House of  Ovesterra, Lord Steward and Keeper of Giglio Manor, the Illustrious Highness the Grand Prince of Whales,    

confer the Versatile Blog Award to the one and only,


Thursday, January 14, 2016

A Gaga Moment for the Versatile Blogger

Lady Gaga won a Golden Globe Award and all the little monsters around the globe went gaga. I went gaga.

At the same time, I was awarded, maybe for the third time, the Versatile Blogger Award and I still went gaga for it!

image from Artistic World blog by Stevevhan
I feel honoured to be awarded with this recognition because it means that there are still people out there who actually read my shit and appreciate the work I have been doing for the past 6 years.

Yes, this month my blog turned six! The progression was slow and steady and I am still looking forward towards more fruitful years of blogging.

I would like to thank Stevevhan of Artistic World for this recognition and for those five or six people who frequently leave their comments here, and to all other readers who keep on looking for a gayuma recipe in this blog but found a shitty recipe for an early death.

To the culture of blogging, to the printed word, to us! Cheers!

As for the 7 random facts, here they are:
  1. I am a blessed virgin.
  2. Number 1 is not totally true though.
  3. During the 2010 elections, I gave a considerable amount of money for the political campaign of a certain politician.
  4. I am planning to ask certain individuals to create a black propaganda online against the politician and his party mates whom I supported last elections. I am planning to offer these propagandists twice the amount I gave to that asshole.
  5. I dated girls and I loved it.
  6. I dated a guy recently and realized that guys are truly boring.
  7. One of my fears is that I might become a bisexual.

Unfortunately, I can’t tag 15 bloggers because I haven’t followed any other new bloggers. And besides, I want to keep this for myself. Hehehe!

Ok, I'm not sure if he has received this but I nominate this blogger.....

Jep Buendia of Korta Bistang Tibobos

And if you have any suggestions on which blogger to follow, please leave the link in the comment box. Thanks! 

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Rome Revisited, Day 3- Love, Glory Holes and Wish Bones

On the last day of my vacation I suggested to my friends that we should do the most Audrey Hepburn thing to do- stick  a hand into the Bocca della Verità, or the Mouth of Truth.

We went to the Basilica of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, a medieval church, where we found the usual queue of the perpetual horde of tourists.

The Mouth is most famous as a lie detector. In the Middle Ages, it was believed that if you tell a lie while your hand was inside its mouth, it would be bitten off. For some reason, a perverse thought crept in me and I thought that it was the most glamorous gloryhole I’ve ever seen. I wanted to stick my member in the cold marble hole but thought otherwise.

I remember then that the place houses St. Valentine’s relics. I am not Catholic but I went to the famous saint’s altar and stood there in front of his bones, and whispered the desperate wish that would never be granted by the Almighty- meet the man I love, that man I’ve always dreamed of, that man sung by great chanters of lingering love.

It’s funny how desperate people put their faith and fate in the gaunt skeletons of dead people.

As for the Mouth of Truth, well as you can see, I told a big lie- I said I don’t love him anymore.

Thursday, January 07, 2016

Rome Revisited, Day 2- Seats of Power

Rome used to be the centre of the world- being the mother city of the Roman Empire, and the city that hosts the powerbase of Christianity where the divine authority of God resides in the person of the Pope.

The first place we visited was the Palazzo Senatorio in Campidoglio, one of the seven hills on which Rome was founded.

The present piazza that you see here was designed by Michelangelo. The Palazzo Senatorio is the seat of the Comune of Rome.

This is the Capitoline Wolf. The statue is probably a replica, and the original is inside the Capitoline Museum.

The legend says that Rome was founded by twin brothers- Romulus and Remus. When they were babies, a king ordered to throw them into the Tiber River. But they were rescued by a she-wolf and took care of them, suckling them so they can live. Please consult Wikipedia for more info.

Right behind the Palazzo Senatorio is the Foro Romano, the Roman Forum, the very heart of political, religious and commercial power of the empire.

The Vittoriano. A monumental edifice that glorifies the persona and reign of the first King of Italy. It also houses a museum dedicated to the courageous heroes who fought for the unification of Italy, and all other military officers and soldiers who fought valiantly in wars in the name of Italy’s freedom.

This altar is dedicated to all Italians all over the world
Garibaldi, the Italian hero of the Unification of Italy

The Trajan Forum- the first shopping mall of the Roman Empire.

Selfie in front of the colossal Colosseum. It is situated in the centre of Rome. It’s interesting to note that funding for its construction came from the loot of the siege of the Jewish Temple. Many of people of my faith still hold on to Pope Benedict XIV declaration in 1749 that many Christian martyrs died in this amphitheatre. No proof of it until now. Currently there are many scaffolding around the structure.

In the evening, we visited the Palazzo del Quirinale, official residence of the President of the Republic of Italy. It’s the 9th largest palace in the world, in terms of area, and it has housed 30 Popes, 4 Kings of Italy, and 12 presidents.

The Bernini balcony.

Last time I went to the Montecitorio Palace, the seat of Parliament. This time, I went to my future office- The Palazzo Madama, home of the Senate of the Republic.

Fuck the Senate!

Powers would come and go. Popes, emperors, kings, princes, presidents, prime ministers- they all come and go, but Rome is eternally mesmerizing and beautiful.

Monday, January 04, 2016

Rome Revisited, Day 1- Stairway to Heaven

Rome Revisited, Day 1- Stairway to Heaven

This is the third time I went to Rome for a short holiday. The Eternal City is in fact one of my favourite places to visit here in Italy. It’s quite special to me for three particular reasons:

1.      My dear best friend, The Traveller, lives there.
2.      When I was Lord Paramount Archdeacon of the Faith (a special ecclesiastical title I conferred to myself, hahaha!), I often go to Rome to hold court, preside over councils, or meet with our bishop to discuss matters of our church.
3.      I love Roman Holiday. I always feel like I am Audrey Hepburn (10 times her size), as Princess Ann, trying to escape from the world and discover the dolce vita of Rome.

Last year, my bestie moved to a new apartment, which he and his roommates named The Royal Super House of the Royal House of Carmagnola. So I decided to make a royal visit to their place last December. I called my other bestfriend, The Beloved One, and told him that we should have a reunion, and he agreed and added that he will bring along his girlfriend. And I was like, “Whatever.” Hahaha! Bitter ampalaya!
Our host decided that we should go to Vatican City and climb up to the top of St. Peter’s Basilica. When we arrived at St. Peter’s Square, I saw the horde of tourists and the queue of biblical proportions.

Few years ago, people were free to roam around the square. Now we are forced to stay in line and wait until we get inside. We have to pass through metal detectors and checkpoints. METAL DETECTORS AND CHECKPOINTS ON HOLY GROUNDS. I am scandalized. I am not even Catholic. The attack in Paris has definitely changed our world. Fuck you Daesh.

The Basilica is majestic. Look above and you’ll see a fine masterpiece of great masters of art.

This is the passageway going to the top of the cupola or the dome. There are a total of 551 steps.

There’s a path that goes inside the Basilica that offers a spectacular view of the cupola. And the mosaic art of its walls- made of marble and precious stones.

It is breath-taking- literally and figuratively. I reached the top almost breathless and sweating like a pig (and it’s winter!). But the spectacular view of Rome was worth the effort.

On our way down I saw some sort of marble headstones on the wall. I realized they were some sort of guest register. Royal visits of monarchs, emperors and princes were memorialised in these headstones. They will put mine too… some other time.

Inside the Basilica

St. Peter's Baldachin

Here’s the tomb of St. John Paul II…

The marvellous “Pietà” by Michelangelo
The Trio- I’m the one with the nice ass. Hahaha!

The Cupola by night

And that was the first day. The following days, we will be behaving ourselves and visit more churches. It’s like Visita Iglesia. And then we feasted on these...

We could've gone around the city and see its night life. But we were just dead tired.