On the last day of my vacation I suggested to my friends that we should do the most Audrey Hepburn thing to do- stick a hand into the Bocca della Verità, or the Mouth of Truth.
We went to the Basilica of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, a medieval church, where we found the usual queue of the perpetual horde of tourists.
The Mouth is most famous as a lie detector. In the Middle Ages, it was believed that if you tell a lie while your hand was inside its mouth, it would be bitten off. For some reason, a perverse thought crept in me and I thought that it was the most glamorous gloryhole I’ve ever seen. I wanted to stick my member in the cold marble hole but thought otherwise.
I remember then that the place houses St. Valentine’s relics. I am not Catholic but I went to the famous saint’s altar and stood there in front of his bones, and whispered the desperate wish that would never be granted by the Almighty- meet the man I love, that man I’ve always dreamed of, that man sung by great chanters of lingering love.
It’s funny how desperate people put their faith and fate in the gaunt skeletons of dead people.
As for the Mouth of Truth, well as you can see, I told a big lie- I said I don’t love him anymore.