Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The Book Inquisition Ep. 4- A Clash of Kings

The Beki Biblio-Queen summons George R.R. Martin’s “A Clash of Kings” to the stand.

  1. How was the cover?


Same as the first one. It’s okay, but I’m giving this 1 point just because it bears Martin’s name which was enough for me to grab it. 

  1. Can the book cause a lot of controversy? Or if the book is controversial or has an outrageous claim to something or really popular, did it live up to your expectations?

It’s not controversial. But the TV series has made it more popular than ever, so you kind of expect something that will meet your hunger for a fantastic reading experience. Game of Thrones was definitely one of the most unforgettable reading experiences for me. Although reading the second did not exceed the experience I had with the first book, but still, it lived up to its reputation. 1.5

  1. Did it compel you to do something you’ve never done before?

Not really. The second book is about the warfare and the clashes of four kings, the intrusive nature of religion in the political arena, black magic and stuff, and so much plotting among siblings and friends. I mean, these are things that I have done in the past. Nevertheless, interesting. I’ll give it a half-point. 0.5

  1. Was the plot development refreshing and more than the usual shit you read or has it became your reality?

In the second book, Westeros was divided into four territories, each one claimed by four self-proclaimed kings- King Joffrey Baratheon, the Stupid Brat of King’s Landing and current Ruler of the Seven (Supposedly) Realms, King Stannis Baratheon, the true heir (to my point of view) and pretender to the Iron Throne, King Renly Baratheon, the Handsome pretender to the Irone Throne and Proclaimed King by House Tyrell and other lords of the Reach, and the red-haired Young Wolf, King Robb Stark, the King in the North.

As tensions are already nearing the boiling point, Lady Catelyn Stark, my favourite girl, under the orders of her son, went to meet Renly and Stannis to form an alliance against their true enemies, the Lannisters who were currently holding and ruling King’s Landing, and technically speaking, the whole kingdom. Her mission failed because, you know, men think with their dicks and they just want to be their own boss. Add to that, there’s the red priestess, Melisandre, who probably fucked demons as a hobby, gave birth to a demon-child shadow especially made to assassinate Renly.

In the meantime, my favourite character in this book, Tyrion Lannister came back to King’s Landing and was appointed by his lord father as the temporary Hand of the King to rule on his behalf, because Joffrey was too busy playing king and because he’s an incapable stupid brat (just like the Philippine president I suppose), that even the Queen Bitch Regent Cersei Lannister couldn’t even control him. As you can see, there was so much plotting and conspiracies happening in King’s Landing between the two. I loved Tyrion for that. I mean, he is so smart and cunning that I would get down and give him a blowjob even though he’s not that good-looking. Not to mention how Cersei Lannister, the brother-fucker, relieves herself by banging a 15-year old knight, a cousin of hers. Damn that’s one evil bitch of a cougar. I kind of like it. LOL! Under the watch of Lord Tyrion, King’s Landing prepares for battle, against whom, they still have to know yet.



In the meantime, Stannis forces grew stronger as he was counselled by Melisandre. What happens to the others, well, go on and read it yourself.

In Winterfell, Theon Greyjoy betrayed the northerners by attacking the realm to please his lord father, the former rebel, Balon Greyjoy, but things went terribly wrong.

And Jon Snow, well, he’s still in the winter wonderland beyond the wall, looking for his uncle and solving the riddle “what the fuck is happening in the desolate north and where the hell are the wildlings and their leader?!”.

The political intrigues were quite interesting but they somehow appeared to me as nothing new and that’s why I can’t say that this story has become my reality. In a certain sense, this WAS my reality- pulling strings during local elections, black propagandas, conspiring against a local political leader. I’ve been there and done that. So reading this made me just…. Nostalgic. Nevertheless, it was really fun to read. I’ll give it a 1.5.


  1. Were the characters of the story similar to your favourite imaginary friends, or did they get along well with the creature under your bed, or have they become the friends/lovers/sex-slaves you’ve always wanted in your delusional world?

Tyrion is my hero and I love him already. Lady Catelyn was as ever the strong iron-willed woman I will always admire. Brienne of Tarth, her devotion and chivalry is so touching. And last but not the least, Queen Cersei- that filthy rich bitch, I discovered that she’s a cougar. I like her now. LOL! 1 point for such great roster of characters!

  1. Has it changed your way of thinking? Have you become a better person or remained the same asshole in the neighbourhood?

Kind of hard to say if this book made me a better person. But you get some lessons on how to spy on others and some basic lessons on espionage, intelligence gathering, and statecraft. 0.5 point


  1.  Tonight. Sex or this book?

So a book is definitely good when it overpowers you that you ignore all sorts of mating calls, bootie calls, and such.

So I’d be momentarily lost in the pages of this novel in my solar. A servant would then announce the arrival of a knight sent to me from King’s Landing.



What a surprise! Cersei sends her boytoy Lancel Lannister! The bitch knows I don’t bang boys. I want men. 



But then, in these days when the land is ravaged by wars and there are shortage of men, all I am left with are these boys. So what’s a horny bitch to do? Sorry Martin, the book is good but not enough to distract me from this cutie. But I’ll be generous- 1.5 points.



7.5/10- Not as exciting as the first but it still is a good read.

2 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHA I WANT MEN TOO!!!!
    anyway, ang weird ko ba na hindi ko sinubaybayan to? both the book and the series. but but but, sinubaybayan ko ang video game version. yes, ako na ang #gaymer.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hindi ko na nga rin nasubaybayan yung tv series kaya binasa ko na lang. Pero in fairness sa series, grabe ang male cast. Mapapasigaw ka ng extra rice. Hahaha!

    ReplyDelete

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