Tuesday, January 24, 2017

The Book Inquisition Ep. 6- The Red Mist

The Queen of Queer Book Queries summons the book The Red Mist by Patricia Cornwell, and passes her absolute judgement on this book without referring to the 7 inquiries.

You have been found guilty of undermining the interests of your faithful followers by creating a Dr. Kay Scarpetta that is totally self-absorbed despite her excellence in the medical field, in the field of law and even in architecture, who is still unhappy despite having a handsome husband and a successful career.

We were supposed to know why her assistant chief medical examiner Dr. Jack Fielding died, and why his estranged daughter has something to do with his death. We were supposed to know how Dr. Fielding's abuser was able to pull some strings to make his death possible and the destruction of Dr. Kay Scarpetta, if that woman was really ever involved.  
More than that, I have read more than a hundred pages and still, there are more questions than answers, and what was a page-turner in the past, is now a crime story that rivals the dense and dry dogmas I read from the most boring religious books that could be found in the Vatican Archives.

You are sentenced to be shelved in the “Atrociously Disappointing Books Section” in my Royal Archives.

Friday, January 20, 2017

The Book Inquisition Ep. 5- Learning Curves

The Queen of the Queer Book Queries summons Learning Curves by Gemma Townley to the stand…

  1. How was the cover?

It was a gift from my best girlfriend so I didn’t much say on its cover. It’s yellow and has the most kikay designs. So I’ll give it 0,5.

  1. Can the book cause a lot of controversy? Or if the book is controversial or has an outrageous claim to something or really popular, did it live up to your expectations?

The book is not controversial. But it has quite an outrageous following, obviously, of single girls, young adult girls, and the like. I really don’t know what to make of it. Has it live up to my expectations? Nah. But I’m generous. 1 point.

  1. Did it compel you to do something I’ve never done before?

Reading this book of this genre (a Chick Lit) gave me a sudden impulse of drafting a story of this gay guy and his hidden love for his straight best friend. And I’m not a fan of romantic chick literature. Ok, 1 point!

  1. Was the plot development refreshing and more than the usual shit you read or has it become your reality?

So there was this Jennifer Bell who just got out of a relationship with a presumably a hottie but a total jerk of a boyfriend who was an environmentalist. As she was trying to plan out a new life ahead, her mother coaxed her to do some undercover job into her long-time-no-see father’s consulting company under the guise of an MBA student. But she was about to find out more than corporate tricks and corruption. She might probably find love in the form of a dashing bookseller executive.

Ok, I doubt that it would be part of my reality, because in my world, there are no handsome executives who are quite passionate about book-selling. In my world, guys who like girls do not lose their cool or get self-conscious. They start to have boners. So yes, I guess it was quite refreshing to read an absolutely fiction story with a world that is manifesting from a girl’s point of view. Sometimes it irritates me and annoys me because I find it so…. Uhm… I dunno… corny. But that’s the thing, it’s guilty pleasure too. Ok, a full 2 points.

  1. Were the characters of the story similar to your favourite imaginary friends, or did they get along well with the creature under your bed, or have they become the friends/lovers/sex-slaves you’ve always wanted in your delusional world?

Not really. I find it hard to relate with Jennifer Bell, the main character. Strange, because I really did not unlike the story at all. Anyway, it’s 0 point for me.

  1. Has it changed your way of thinking? Have you become a better person or remained the same asshole in the neighbourhood?

I’m still the same old me. 0 point.

  1. Tonight. Sex or this book?

I enter William’s bookstore and tell him, “I’m just a bored Screaming Queen who’s been reading this book, standing in front of a boy, asking him to bang her.” I drop the book and drag William outside and somewhere where we can have a good time. After that, I’ll get back to pick it up again and continue reading. 1 point.
A total of 5.5/10 points. Not such a great book to start the year. It’s not really my genre.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

How I Started the Year 2017

It was one of those winter nights when the sky is studded with bright stars and the silver moon was shining. The winter winds were gently caressing my cheeks, and everyone was simply having a nice evening promenade.

I was with friends. I needed their company that night. The new year just came in and I was already full of emotions, that I was almost going to burst. So I distanced myself from my friends for a while and fixed my gaze into the horizon. I then looked up at the starry sky and said, “PUTANG INA MO UNIVERSE!”

And for a moment, I was quite okay.

So what brought me to Piazzale Michelangelo to get a breather?

Frustration. I was so frustrated because I just couldn’t get my goals right on track.

Let’s start with the first goal that every one has- be fit and healthy. I just can’t stop myself from eating like a pig. I just can’t stop myself from eating junk food. I just can’t push myself to do exercises or go to the gym. I really don’t want to go to the gym because for me it’s a useless expenditure when I can do workouts at home. At home, I don’t do any workout because, obviously, it’s tiresome and uninteresting for me. Argh! I hate my lazy self!

I couldn’t find time to write, because I was too busy finding the time to get my 8 hours of sleep. Otherwise, I’d be cranky and be prone to make a lot of mistakes at work. We don’t want that so we go and get some well-deserved sleep. When I lack sleep, I can’t even concentrate and I can’t write decently, like right now. Gosh, I’m not really a decent writer but at least I am able to focus on something.

And worst of all, that blessed old car of mine that behaves like a blackhole that sucks up all my money- repairs, tax and insurance.

And I am broke because the government imposed that sort of income tax so a large chunk of money went to the pockets of those pigs in Parliament. Or maybe those assholes in the Ministry of Interior.

I try not to lose hope. I think I should organize my thoughts and schedules. Maybe that’s why I’m so fucked up. I’m so chaotic.

Ok, let’s do this!

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

My Wish This 2017

Dahil ayoko na ma-badtrip o mag imbak ng galit sa puso, ang wish ko lang para sa mga taong kinaiinisan ko, lalu na sa boss ko….

Sana mag evolve na kayo, dahil matagal na kayong nanatiling mga hayop. Ok?!

Tuesday, January 03, 2017

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good 2017

I read an inspiring entry in Ms. Coffeehan’s blog (please do visit her blog here). She shared something about not asking for the easy things in life, because all great things are achieved the hard way. It was never meant to be easy.

I’ve been keeping it so easy last year because I always said, “if effort is involved, I’m out of it.” And I realized that it was never meant to be easy. And fuck fate for making it that way. But what else can I do? So I have decided to not go gentle into 2017. I’m gonna rage against the coming of the year!

Goal #1- Be fit, healthy, and sexy.

Love life will come if I can be sluttier. And not just look sexy, I’m aiming for that body that says, “I’m an insatiable bottom-bitch masochist that needs some whipping.”

Goal #2- Write, for Chrissake!- 

Use the hand for more writing, and nothing else. Promise it, with my right hand raised in pledge and my left hand on my laptop. Sorry crotch. The attention is not on you anymore! Lol! I’m gonna write the first chapters of the novel of my dreams, and join a literary contest, somewhere. Aja!

Goal #3- Raise up to 3.000 euros this year.

I’m gonna do this not only from my salary or those investment funds. I’m gonna sell more soaps, creams and many more! From odd jobs to blowjobs, I’m gonna do it all! I must set the appropriate budgets for certain expenses also.

Goal #4- Ask a goddamn financial institution for money to buy a new computer.

The fucking Iron Bank
I really don’t need a computer. This old Vaio laptop of mine is still working. I just need to have a credit history, so I can get a bigger credit to buy a new car, and eventually, a bigger credit to buy a house of my own. It’s all so fucking bullshit.

Goal #5- Read 24 Books

I’m gonna read books like my life depends on it this year. Fuck it!

Goal #6- Draw plans for next year’s Grand Tours

Make plans and arrangements for my Philippine trip next year and my Road Trip Italia 2018, Southern Italy Edition.

Goal #7- Plan this year’s getaways

I’m not just gonna stay here. I will go where the universe has always stopped me from reaching!

Goal #8- Be this year’s Santa Claus to my family

Last Christmas, I gave away gifts to all my sister, cousins and nieces. This year, it’s gonna be my uncles, aunts and parents. As for my godchildren, yung mga paborito ko lang. The rest, sorry. Hahaha!

So that’s it, ladies and gentlemen. I’m so ready for 2017. Bring it on!