This is the story of how the song “Linger” became one of my obsessions.
Originally, the song was about Dolores O’Riordan’s first serious kiss, a song of regret and her falling in love with a soldier.
I liked the song a lot. And then I met my bestfriend in the summer of 2003. I started falling for him since then and eventually realized that I was already in deep shit in love with him the following year. And the rest is history.
The lyrics of the song suddenly had a different meaning. And the music was like enveloping every aspect of my being. Every word was impressed upon my heart, that sometimes when I listened to it, driven by teenage hormones, I would cry a lot and sometimes bang my head on the wall because I felt so stupid and I was deeply in love with a straight guy.
Linger was the song that best described how I felt back then, and even now.
“But I’m in so deep. You know I’m such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger,
Do you have to let it linger?”
Like Dolores, I fell in love with some guy, not even the most handsome or the most fascinating, but for some reason I love him, and I regret it so much.
This M.U. (mag-isang umiibig) status is already more than a decade but I still can’t get over my bestfriend. That’s what love is for me- suffering in silence. I believe that this is one of the main reasons that are holding me back from having a real relationship. It’s really stupid. As in THAT THING CALLED TANGA