Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Silver Screen Delights- from sexy black men, love and beastiality, to hot Russian spy

This is not a review, just a wild raving of someone who was lucky enough to find time to go to the cinema house. And these are the movies I’ve seen recently.

Black Panther

Ladies and gay men, this movie is a must. The story of how an African prince from Wakanda, an obscure and totally unknown nation in Africa, came to power and experienced the weight of his responsibility as king and super hero, and his grand purpose for his country and the world. More than that, I can’t help myself from salivating at the sight of half naked sexy black men wrestling in a pool.

Oh my God it was talong galore! Call me ignorant and superficial, I don’t care! I am superficial. I won’t be commenting about superb acting by Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, or Lupita Nyong’o. I’m not commenting any of that. However, special mention must be made for Boseman’s and Jordan’s torso, and Winston Duke’s hot dad bod (just the way I like it). The costumes however were fabulous and special effects were superb. Plot was ok, which is a great feat for a Hollywood superhero movie that promises nothing but humor and special effects.

Can’t wait to see a porn parody of this movie though. Tag libog na naman po ako!

The Shape of Water

A creature from the sea we commonly call “shokoy”, a mute, a gay artist, and a feisty black woman- the heroes in a movie set in the 1950’s, a time when a mute will be locked up in an institution, homo will be bashed and imprisoned, and a feisty black woman will be shot without any hesitation. In some ways, it is a movie that denounces social conventions created by bigots, Republican Christians, and idiots.

The movie is free of Hollywood’s special effects. It actually has a good storyline, good acting, and, I don’t know, a different kind of twist? I mean, what is it like fucking a shokoy? Or kissing a fish? Falling in love with a sea creature and having sex with him- is this considered beastiality?

This is a movie that talks about love that has no boundaries. Now, when I eat sushi, I can’t stop thinking about that shokoy penis inside a woman. Disturbing, intriguing, though-provoking. Boner killer. Lol!

Red Sparrow

A young Russian girl became his uncle’s pawn in a game of espionage after witnessing the murder of a scion orchestrated by the Russian government. To save her from being liquidated, she had to undergo special training in a very elite and unique force called Sparrows. They were trained not for combat or technology wars. They were trained to become professional whores- to manipulate and seduce in order to obtain information or eliminate enemies. I enjoyed looking at Russian guys very much. LOL!

Jennifer Lawrence was so hot and sexy that for a moment I thought I might be a closeted straight, or maybe bisexual. And then I saw the American CIA agent Nathaniel Nash interpreted by Joel Edgerton. His beautiful mature face and body just confirmed my fabulous sexual persuasion.

Not so much of a “Mission Impossible” or “James Bond” movie, but very much like the vibes of “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”, yes, that good movie most fucktards wouldn’t watch. She’s a spy that fights to have it all by being bruised, cut, and fucked up all over, in order to bruise, cut and fuck up all the others who have used her.

Interesting movie. Beautiful location (Eastern Europe). Beautiful men. A must-see.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Drink the Whine, Eat the Dread

I hate my job. I have always hated it since day one. I have been promoted. And anytime soon, I might get another raise and another promotion. But I fucking hate my job.

I was promoted because of politics and not because of my performance. I wanted more money so I needed to get ahead of others. So I availed myself to the company’s shittiest overlords- free eight-hour shifts, shopping bag carrier, driver, everything an ambitious suck up would do. I’ve done everything but sleep with my overlords. Unfortunately, I still have my morals and decency intact.

I really can’t say if my life got better or worse. One thing is sure, I hate it even more.

I hate my job because the workplace is already toxic. You can’t trust employees and management alike. Everyone’s back-stabbing everyone else. I hate my job because my director is a bitch from hell. No, that’s not a metaphor. She’s the very incarnation of the term “bitch from hell”. And finally, the clientele is a roster of human beings who survived their abortion from birth. They were supposed to be dead. God wills it they live.

Sometimes I think I might have been one of Hitler’s generals in another life for me to deserve such life. And if I am to be reincarnated again, it’s still gonna be shitty.

It was unfortunate that I lost my first job during the crisis in 2009. I landed on this job because there were no other job openings around me. Offices, shops and restaurants were closing almost every other day.

This year, the Italian economy is barely recovering. There are jobs now but I’m not sure if I quit my present job I could find another secure one, not to mention all my other financial commitments.

Sorry for the post that is so full of whining, negativity and bullshit. It’s been a difficult February, and March is proving to be even more challenging.

Tonight, I might go and watch a movie, get drunk, not get laid because it’s a night out with the girls (besides, I never get laid, LOL!), try to have fun. Then go to sleep to get ready for tomorrow. Universe, please don’t fuck with me this time.

Tuesday, March 06, 2018

2018 Goals, Anyare Na?

I almost forgot that I had these goals. Ano na ba ang nangyari?

Goal 1- I am still not fit, and I live a very unhealthy lifestyle. I’m actually stacking up liquors in my place so that after a night out of aperitifs and shots, I can make my own cocktails in the convenience of my home. My eating hours are crazy, so are my sleeping hours.

Goal 2- Writing. Blogging was almost put to a halt last month. Pressure sa trabaho kaya walang creative juice na lumalabas sa utak. Ever since I was promoted wala na talaga ako maisulat na matino. This job is a curse since day 1. And I still don’t understand why I’m still putting so much effort in this shit. Tanga tanga much ko lang.

Goal 3- I’m already on my fifth book. Currently reading Jodi Picault’s “The Pact”. Very interesting. Previous book, Banana Yoshimoto’s “High and Dry, Primo Amore” was quite disappointing. Read it in Italian.

Goal 4- What’s cooking in Westeros? I am now making plans to host a dinner, serving dishes featured in George R. R. Martin’s saga “A Song of Ice and Fire” a.k.a. Game of Thrones. Recently, I made a very easy breakfast that would have been served to the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch.

Goal 5- Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir ? That’s all my French for now.

Goal 6- Business? Monkey business. I’m not taking any serious actions. Ugh.

I should take decisive action and understand what are the things that are distracting me. I should probably get help, or read some self-help books. 

Thursday, March 01, 2018

The Calling of the Third Wheel

All my cousins and friends are married with kids now. I am the only one left behind. So when my cousin organizes a dinner party at her place, I would equip myself with info on the latest about parenting, baby diapers, and get inspiration from my parents to have something to share or know when the topic of domestic life arises. But I still don’t belong in this company of married couples.

These days I go out with my younger friends. Most of them are still single. But I still don’t feel that I belong. I am more like a chaperone than being one of the barkada. In fact, one of them has already made me his ninong for his wedding.

I used to feel quite sad for being out of place in many settings among friends and family. Somehow I found solace in being the Third Wheel in many of those relationships. In fact, I have already embraced the idea and have considered it a sacred calling. And I am quite sure there are many Third-Wheelers out there who haven’t realized this. It’s time to embrace it, accept it, and fulfil your destiny. Being the Third Wheel doesn’t mean you are a loser in love. Maybe you are, but by being the official Third Wheel to your friends, you might learn one thing or two, or you might help cultivate a budding relationship. This role will change you and your destiny, and maybe even your luck in love.

A Roman holiday as a Third Wheel in Rome, 2016

In those years of third-wheeling I have come to realize the importance of this role to society and mankind. People still haven’t realized this but without you, yes, you my dear third-wheeler, many relationships wouldn’t have come into being or be broken half-way. And many relationships wouldn’t have flourished without you.

Every budding relationship is like a seed that must be planted on good soil, and that good soil is you my friend. You are there because you have the power to enrich this relationship and make this love better or even deeper if you only allow yourself to be the good soil, the official Third-Wheeler.

You are the common ground of two strangers in love with each other. In most cases you are the common friend. Those two strangers still don’t know each other very well, so it will be up to you to think of ideas on the where they will be comfortable to date, providing them the appropriate background info each needed to know. And if they drag you along, you can help them know each other by clearing the air when it gets awkward for the two of them during dinner. In cases of shy people, you can be the host and liven up the conversation for the two. If the date becomes disastrous, you are the exit strategy of that friend who dragged you along. You’ll know what to do. And if it goes well, then you can simply make a gracious exit. Do not think of it that you’re being left behind. You just finished a good task, something that they’ll be thanking you when they are both standing in front of the altar exchanging vows. You just did the Lord’s work. Remember, for every good thing you did in your life, you will reap it bountifully in the future. So at the end of the day, you didn’t lose anything at all.

In a two-way relationship, a third party must do something to harmonize with the other two and establish a symbiotic relationship with them. The keyword here is creativity. You must be creative, for your sake and theirs. Be creative enough to be their photographer and capture unforgettable moments. Be creative enough to coach them on being sweet and charming, and even in grooming, style and many other things. This means that you’ve been educating yourself in finding life-hacks for many aspects of life and relationships. This stock knowledge is not only helpful for the couple, but also for you.

The Third Wheeler is almost inevitably the couple’s therapist by default, given the fact that you made that relationship happen. If there’s a fight you’ll have to be there for the two if they asked your help. If there’s a problem, you’ll have to be there for two if they asked for advice on how to fix things. Of course, you are not God. You won’t be able to fix everything but be there for them and avail yourself for them at least. Be the fixer. Be the peace-maker. It is said, “Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God.” See that? I’m a third-wheeler, a peacemaker, a child of God. See that homophobes, God has a gay son too in me!

Moving on.

Besides, if that relationship doesn’t go well, you might as well be the replacement. Rebound guy or not, there’s a possibility that it is love. Or else, at least you will get laid.

These are just the few satisfying things in the life of a third-wheeler. One day, they’ll be thanking you by making you the godfather to their kids, or making you their own godfather. Relax. It would mean extra expenses during the holidays and birthdays and anniversaries, but they don’t really matter. It would give you a certain pride and joy because they have acknowledge something good in you, and that goodness will one day be paid back in kind.

Have I found love in all these years of being the Third Wheel? Yes and no. I was somehow unfortunate but I know one day when I meet someone, there will be that indispensable Third Wheel to help us through.