Monday, April 30, 2018

Whose day is it anyway?

It’s a public holiday to celebrate the achievements of workers, a day that originated from the sweat, tears, and efforts of labour unions. It’s our day. Workers. The day we commemorate the legal establishment of the 8-hour day. A victory of the proletariat, the communists, the socialist, the people.

circa 2002, my first ever political rally

Where the fuck will I be today?

I won’t be marching on the streets like I used to when I was a young hippie-looking deranged activist. I will be flipping burgers. Serving my boss. Serving the horde of hungry people with their shitload sentiment of entitlement to be served with the license of abusing workers over the counter.

In the meantime, underpaid and labour-rights deprived workers in other sectors will be in their homes, not to relax, but to brood on the fact that there are no choices left for them but to shut up and strive in their jobs as taxpayers money went down the drain of the financial black holes in banks, parliamentarian pockets, and capitalists.

There’s so much wrong with May 1. This is not anymore about ranting about the fact that I can’t take a holiday on this date, but about the fact that nobody really cares anymore about the very essence of this holiday. It’s just another day to stay at home or be somewhere else.

And all those grand speeches by left-wing leaders that they spew in rallies they hold in large piazzas here? Meaningless. They don’t mean a thing, especially when we have more taxes than earned money. When people can’t pay for their homes, when young couples can’t be certain of their future, when the youth can’t even get decent jobs and decent paychecks, when many labourers are exposed to exploitations and opportunist capitalists, what the fuck are we celebrating?

On a day like this, why are capitalists getting more benefits than its workers?

On a day like this, why are we forced to embrace shitty working conditions?

On a day like this, why is it that the economy is growing at the expense of our ever thinning wallets?

On a day like this, why is the “think positive” culture is not paying the bills of average families and not ensuring a better future for the youth and “negative” people like me (fuck those I’m-all-about-positivity-rich-kid-life-guru!)?

Tell me why?

Quitting is like...

Quitting my job is like trying to divorce a rich psychotic and violent husband and ending a toxic relationship but I just can’t do it because life is hard and money is everything. So here I am, back again at my laptop, whining and whining and whining all the way.

Today I spoke with the owner of the restaurant and told him that I have changed my mind and I have chosen to remain and continue my work as manager. But he said that after what happened, he thinks that I'm not really fit to do that role. I didn’t even try to refute that. All I want is some source of income and a job minus the responsibilities, hassles and bullshit, but with the same salary. So I'm gonna be just one of his bitches working for him. I have no qualms about that. 

I got what I want. Salary maybe lesser, but I am fine with what I got from this shitty deal with my boss. I was one step away from freedom, but I threw away that chance because of one thing- NO CLEAR AND WELL-PLANNED EXIT STRATEGY.

My attempt to quit was not an impulsive choice. I’ve had it in mind since day one. But the timing was not quite ideal because I haven’t considered many aspects. Which aspects, you might ask? I have no idea. I’ve been watching too many videos about quitting one’s job and my head is about to burst.

But anyway, it’s a new path for me and I have to remind myself constantly that from now on, this is a temporary thing, that there’s another goal that I must achieve (beside getting a boyfriend who is willing to support me, lol!).

Good bye April. You’ve been such a pain in the ass. When I see you next year, I hope you’re not as bitchy as you were this year.