Coming back to Italy reminded me again of that peculiar thought I had on my way to Vienna. Who will clean up my stuff after my death? I need a ‘cleaner’.
People usually hire lawyers for this stuff, but the exorbitant fees of their services are just enough to kill your dead self again. And besides, lawyers are much more concerned on the legal stuff. I need someone whose services and silence are free, whose loyalty is unquestionable.
You don’t just pick any person for this job. You don’t just bestow a tricky role to anybody, not even to any family member. This is about leaving behind a legacy, clearing up browsing history, and throwing away undesirable things that would have been unthinkable to be associated to your persona, your own High Priest who will dwell in your inner sanctum.
But what exactly would the Cleaner do?
He starts as the Confidante. This is the period when he starts to build up a certain professional relationship with the client- knowing his personality, character and background. In this period, the client will assess whether this confidante is trustworthy enough, loyal and able to handle all his innermost deep dark secrets.
Once he passed the test, he will become the client’s Confessor. This is the phase where the client will share all his secrets and perversions, things he couldn’t utter with anyone else. And this is the time when the client will share the knowledge of what to do after his death, where to look for certain things, and how to dispose everything.
He becomes the cleaner soon after the death of the client. The client must leave a certain will saying that the Cleaner is given right and exclusive freedom and duty to oversee certain items of the dead, leaving such instructions to his lawyer, if he has one.
I have thought this through and perhaps I might go through some details and polish them.
I realized later on, as I was writing this, that I was so occupied on drafting the job description of a cleaner, and so busy writing down names of possible candidates, when at this point of my life, what I really need is a LOVER.
Sigh. Life is so complicated.